DVXUser Fest is bad for marriage...

[Shawn Philip Nelson]

Okay, not bad as in she's going to divorce me, just bad as in the whole crying wife conversation sorta bad. Apparently, if you work a full time job then spend 4 weekends in a row in production then evenings editing, DVXuser, coordinating, etc., it's not appreciated.

Anyone else dealing with this? I think i'll need to schedule some post-fest makeup time.

[Mark Harris]

Maybe you need a new wife. :)

I guess I am lucky in that my GF(soon to be living with me) is in the same boat. She's an artist, so full time work + art work, in studio, etc adds up to the same.

But it means she gets it when I am obsessing over a movie I'm working on and vanish for days/weeks.

[Mike Insane]

Create a SPA fund. Put it into every budget. It essentially insures that you have enough money to take her to a spa for a weekend. A massage and a pedicure later she will warm back up to you. You can also let her know upfront, before you go into production that she will be getting said treatment after filming is done. This should make the weeks of living with a ghost more bearable. It worked for me :)

[Mattykins]

I am quite single at the moment. So, I guess I don't have that problem.

And yeah, something says that makeup time needs to be scheduled ASAP. Do something romantic. Think nice evening with the two of you. Dinner, dancing...you know.

Best advice I can give. :)

[Dustin R. Rogan]

Don't have that problem anymore...but when we were together she didn't care, just as long as the things at the home front were taken care of. Of course I've always had a full time job. Good Luck to ya on this there guy!

Rogan

nowadays my cat won't stop meowing if I'm gone for to long...so i can kinda relate...maybe...lol

[J.R. Hudson]

This ...

... coming from an Actress ?

= )

[Shawn Philip Nelson]

This ...

... coming from an Actress ?

= )

Lol, I hear ya. Actually she's usually really good about this, she very much knew she was signing on to be with a filmmaker.

Personally, I place a large percentage of the blame on pregnancy hormones. She's almost half way through our second pregnancy, due end of October.

Pregnancy makes women insane! I relate so much to that scene in 'Knocked Up' where Seth Rogan's character goes 'f1ck you hormones!!!'

[J.R. Hudson]

No no no

Women are insane anyways. Pregnancy and Monthly Meetings only accentuate this law of nature.

[Zak Forsman]

i think i'm more or less in the same camp as Mark Harris. i'm very fortunate and thankful my girlfriend, who I live with so we're practically married, is a filmmaker as well. she is a very nurturing and supportive presence on my films and serves specifically as their editor and co-producer. she's cutting Heart of Now as we speak.

[dvpixl]

What, Heart of Now is still cutting??


:beer:

[Zak Forsman]

yeah, still going... we are exploring every possibility within the material. Jamie keeps a log of her progress here (http://www.sabiforum.com/showthread.php?t=85).

[dvpixl]

Cool, I should've known to update myself on your site.

Not to add to the list and depress Shawn even more but my wife was the boom person for my drama fest short. "Not the Same".

[Zak Forsman]

Cool, I should've known to update myself on your site.

Not to add to the list and depress Shawn even more but my wife was the boom person for my drama fest short. "Not the Same".

haha! Jamie was the boom op / mixer on IFHY!!!

[Matt Sconce]

My wife was the actress in PUSH and the Dead body in the bathtub in Stricken! hehe

[Shawn Philip Nelson]

My wife is a great actress, discovered personally by Gus Van Sant for Elephant. I just haven't yet written anything that would really suit her.

[Ben Sliker]

I always make sure I write in/fit in a cameo for Marie. (gf, but we live together)

She played one of the leads in Dead Inside, was a waitress in Refill, Was a dead girl in In Pieces, and she's this lovely lady in John Abbott Mitchell.

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/5649/1212254487.jpg

Doesn't always have to be big, but i always try to include her!

[ConspiracyPenguin]

I can't relate (:cry:) but best of luck to ya!

[Moojangles]

I'm not sure my girlfriend is all that supportive of DVXuser, she certainly doesn't understand why i keep taking on new projects just after i say "whew i'm done that project, now i can relax" clearly what i'm really saying is "whew i'm done that project, now what's next?"

[Rodney V. Smith]

I'm not sure my girlfriend is all that supportive of DVXuser, she certainly doesn't understand why i keep taking on new projects just after i say "whew i'm done that project, now i can relax" clearly what i'm really saying is "whew i'm done that project, now what's next?"

My wife totally understands that one. Her attitude right now is: fine go out and shoot and get it done, but understand that I'm getting all the dirty diapers.

The Spa thing does work by the way.

[sfoster]

I'm blessed with a wife who not only supports my crazy film-making shenanigans, she is also carrying most of the workload bringing in the money. She said when we were in premarital counseling that her dream was "to serve her husband in any way she can" WOO HOO She's really independent though, so that helps!

[chapelgrovefilms]

Ummmm.....shouldn't it be "Marriage is bad for DVXUser Fest"???

I mean, c'mon -- gotta get your priorities straight, man! :)

[Ken K]

Anyone else dealing with this?
Not exactly marriage, but trying to find time to date girls! Having to schedule dates around all of the shooting and editing, not to mention my normal job... I just may be doomed to wander the earth alone for the rest of time. Hmm... I guess I kinda feel like this guy:

[Shawn Philip Nelson]

Update: good news!

So yesterday was our last shoot for 'Aetas' and whilst stopping off to get supplies for the trip I had the foresight to buy my wife a pot of flowers, a romantic card and a box of candy. So then later that night (I rolled in around 1:30am after she was long asleep) I signed the card and put it all out on the kitchen table for her to discover (she gets up earlier than I do).

She was thrilled, getting misty eyed. Loved it. She then proceeded to give me a morning back massage and a home cooked breakfast.

Spa not needed :-).

[ZazaCast]

Nice....

[hunter richards]

Just pregnancy...

[Mark Harris]

She was thrilled, getting misty eyed. Loved it. She then proceeded to give me a morning back massage and a home cooked breakfast.

.

God, how I looooove the morning "back massage..."

[Jeff Anderson]

God, how I looooove the morning "back massage..."

Hehe! Glad to see I wasnt the only one that read it that way...

[totitefilms]

I second the idea that having your wife/gf playing part in the production. It would make her feel useful and not complaining too much.

[Gohanto]

On my LoveFest shoot one of my actors was dressed up as a homeless man. A girl walked by us as we were filming...

ACTOR: You see that girl that just gave me a weird look?
ME: Yeah?
ACTOR: I asked her out last week and she said maybe. Do you think seeing me dressed as a homeless man hurt my chances at all?
ME: It's possible. But just in case you should dress like that on a date if you ever do go out with her.

[Ken K]

On my LoveFest shoot one of my actors was dressed up as a homeless man. A girl walked by us as we were filming...

ACTOR: You see that girl that just gave me a weird look?
ME: Yeah?
ACTOR: I asked her out last week and she said maybe. Do you think seeing me dressed as a homeless man hurt my chances at all?
ME: It's possible. But just in case you should dress like that on a date if you ever do go out with her.
LOL... that's great!

[ConspiracyPenguin]

Update: good news!

So yesterday was our last shoot for 'Aetas' and whilst stopping off to get supplies for the trip I had the foresight to buy my wife a pot of flowers, a romantic card and a box of candy. So then later that night (I rolled in around 1:30am after she was long asleep) I signed the card and put it all out on the kitchen table for her to discover (she gets up earlier than I do).

She was thrilled, getting misty eyed. Loved it. She then proceeded to give me a morning back massage and a home cooked breakfast.

Spa not needed :-).

Excellent work. I wish I had someone to give flowers to...:violin:

[jpsheets]

Try doing it with a wife and two kids under 5!

[Erik Olson]

I turned down a very lucrative four-month gig last November because someone turned on the waterworks.

Now, I've got three school-age kids, so I can see her angle. Still, that four months would have made my entire year and then some. I would've missed her birthday and all of the kid's birthdays. The production offered to have me work three weeks (in Oregon), then home every fourth week. They would've paid all the airfares to boot.

You can imagine the conversations we had over this. Ultimately, I decided to stay home and take the April Fools Day feature instead of the reality series.

Ten years of marriage has taught me how to pick my battles. It's taught me that we're a team and that we make decisions based on that premise. Still, that money would have been really nice.

e

[dantewaters]

It's funny you know... I haven't really been to this part of the board, I must say this is an interesting point. I was getting that same treatment (GF getting upset when I don't call or show up).

What I do realize sometimes we push ourselves to get things done in one night (editing projects), when if we apply 2hrs a day to a given task /project we can actually get more done. I feel time is a factor, but we can make better use of it most of the time.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Still, that money would have been really nice.

eYes, but you got to celebrate your kids and your wife's birthdays.
Well worth it, IMHO. :thumbsup:

You made the right choice. Money is nice but family is far more important.

Cheers,

Mike

[dantewaters]

Yea family is more important, and I'm learning that all over again. It is easy to get caught up in moving forwarding in this industry, but in the end if we aren't happy it all means nothing.

As far as I'm concerned those who love and care about us (not all family does) is what keeps us together, and in the end it's all you have. When we are sick and in-capable only those that care for us will be there.

[Jeff Anderson]

Money is nice but family is far more important.


Wise wise words. I remember when I was little my dad had a client in Mexico that required very little of him actually being there. One of the few weekends he had to go was my 8 yr old sisters (at the time) dance recital and even though she said it was ok that he wouldnt be there, he knew better and the meeting mysteriously got moved to a different weekend... I didnt find out what really happened til recently.

[majikfraug]

My wife is awesome. I couldn't do this without her.
-especially since she's one of only three actors in our entry.

[Postmaster]

I made the wife holding the mic boom. So she´s involved and I can tell her to shut up when the red light comes up.

Priceless!

Frank

[sfoster]

I made the wife holding the mic boom. So she´s involved and I can tell her to shut up when the red light comes up.

Priceless!

Frank

I hope that she doesn't read this thread!!!

[Susanne G.]

Hello boys,

what a nice discussion about your wifes. Pots of flowers, romantic cards, candys .....like for a kid!!!! (Shawn: seems like medieval thing from your film!)And also a spa. How much fantasy for a filmmaker, who usually has to be a creativ person. And then in some cases the women has also a little part of the production and it works - very generous!!! I never was pregnant in my life, but I think it is not so easy and men furtunatly don't have to be it. Regarding the month problems of women - also that was a mistake of the nature - I like the idea to give them up to the men, particulary the first two days when I need some painkiller!!!! When you open a threat like this, please all meal members, think about there also female members in this forum and not only this one who has the mic boom in their hands (hello gardener). Perhaps it is an idea to devide the important, above all the more interesting roles of filmmaking between you and your wife or GF. I and my FH (means future husband) did this. I made the preproduction, wrote the script and directed the film and he was the DP/cameraman and made the postproduction. And now we are both waiting together to see all the films from the competition. It was the best thing was we ever done together before we get marry next month. And hopefully it was only the beginning of working often together and perhaps we will have also a family!!!!

Best wishes with your wifes!!!

Susanne

[conrad_johnson]

Hello boys,

what a nice discussion about your wifes. Pots of flowers, romantic cards, candys .....like for a kid!!!! (Shawn: seems like medieval thing from your film!)And also a spa. How much fantasy for a filmmaker, who usually has to be a creativ person. And then in some cases the women has also a little part of the production and it works - very generous!!! I never was pregnant in my life, but I think it is not so easy and men furtunatly don't have to be it. Regarding the month problems of women - also that was a mistake of the nature - I like the idea to give them up to the men, particulary the first two days when I need some painkiller!!!! When you open a threat like this, please all meal members, think about there also female members in this forum and not only this one who has the mic boom in their hands (hello gardener). Perhaps it is an idea to devide the important, above all the more interesting roles of filmmaking between you and your wife or GF. I and my FH (means future husband) did this. I made the preproduction, wrote the script and directed the film and he was the cameraman and made the postproduction. And now we are both waiting together to see all the films from the competition. It was the best thing was we ever done together before we get marry next month. And hopefully it was only the beginning of working often together and perhaps we will have also a family!!!!

Best wishes with your wifes!!!

Susanne
Awesome! I wanted to say this, but didn't have the balls (funny that I'm a man and a woman posted this!) Great post and I agree 100%

I respect my GF and she respects me. No problems when you respect each other.

PS. my gf helped with this film BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO not because I felt like I needed to include her so she'll let me make a movie.

[Susanne G.]

Thank you Conrad,

hopefully also some other certain people will see my comment!

[dory_breaux]

Ya shoulda asked her to help you work on it! DUUURRR!

Ohh wait, working with a significant other.... nevermind

[pauly_the_hitman]

Well my wife and I have been together almost 15 years and married 13 this Oct. so she is still my number one fan and she lets me play with my friends and make movies a lot. She is the best. So you have a lot to look forward to. An understanding spouse is critical to a successful movie making career. So good luck to you.