Bedtime Story by DJ Lewis

[DJ Lewis]

http://www.clickdonemedia.com/Lovefest/lfposter.jpg

______________________ Cast _____________________

_____http://www.clickdonemedia.com/Lovefest/MEBs.jpg_________ http://www.clickdonemedia.com/Lovefest/SLAs.jpg______
______Micheal E. Braud ___________Susan Anderson_______
_______________________&
_________________Michael D'Antinea
__________________Cherise Hamill
________________Claude Justin Everett


______________________ Crew_________________
____________ _Writters / DJ Lewis, Jaci Greenhill
______________ __ DP / Wallace Braud
____________ PA, Grip / Nic Roc, Kevin Greenhill
_______________VFX / Mark Johnson
_____________Music / Herman Witkam, Bob Bevan

[DJ Lewis]

First....
This is my first film and first fest. It was great fun once production started. There are lots of stories I'll share after the fest gets under way, but before the viewing starts, I wanted to take the time to publicly acknowledge a few fine folks.

If
"If" will derail any film before it even begins.... And by if I mean i.f.,intestinal fortitude, or lack there of. I wrote this story within a week of the fest's annoucment, but I didn't know i.f. it could be done, of i.f. I could pull it off, or i.f. it would play well, or etc... I sent the script to Charli, who read it and gave me some great notes, but I still didn't konw i.f.... In fact, I almost i.f.ed my way out of a movie.

I sat on it until three weeks from the deadline. Knowing that it was now absolutley ludacris to attempt this project, I decided to put out one last feeler. I reached out to Chris Messineo, who gladly read it and promptly
called to ask what the heck I was waiting for.

Big up to Chris for that final encouraging push to pull this trigger on this project.
He gets the "Red Bull Award"

http://clickdonemedia.com/Lovefest/redbull.jpg

I heard it gives you wings... or somthing like that.

Tick, Tock
With less than three weeks to pull this film off, there was a lot that had to happen. A lot. I had an awesome team of people that came together to make this happen.

The key players are as follows:

Wallace Braud offered his time, talents, equipment, and home. Seriously. Without him, there would be no "Bedtime Story." He put up with my newb-ness, worked long hours, and didn't complain once.... at least not to me. :) He was a truly a partner in this venture. Check him out here (http://www.wallacebraud.com/).

Mark Johnson went out on a limb and commited to doing the vfx work for me. I had no idea that he was involved in so many other projects, but he was determined to make it happen. He warned me that it would be down to the wire, and it was.

If you haven't heard, his laptop was stolen the day before the deadline. Did this stop him? No. He redid everything and I receieved the last vfx shot literally two hours before the deadline.

Herman Witkam is a busy, busy man. He too offered his services to me. I wasn't able to get him a locked edit until 24 hours before the deadline, but he still worked his magic. Bravo.

All three of these guys get a "Chirstopher Reeve"

http://clickdonemedia.com/Lovefest/Superman.jpg

Thank you.

I heard Spike Lee tell a group of filmmakers to never apologize for their films... so I won't. Though I will say, next time I wil start much, much earlier.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Nice poster....

[dvpixl]

Shyamalan?

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Shyamalan?Damn! You think he entered?


:D

[Mark Johnson]

Great Poster DJ!!

[Ted Arabian]

Wow. Sweet poster.

Welcome to the fest!

[DJ Lewis]

Thanks guys!

[tmnt]

Shyamalan?
Yes. There's a twist on the minute, every minute

Good luck DJ.

[Marlon Ladd]

Great poster. Welcome.

[DJ Lewis]

Some important acknowledgements up top....

[Chris Messineo]

DJ,

I'm pysched you got it done! I can't wait to see it.

Chris

[Robert Eldon]

Congratulations on getting it done. It would have been disappointing IF you hadn't been able to enter. :)

I like the idea that the poster image conveys. Looking forward to seeing this.

[DJ Lewis]

Yes, very disappointing.

[smashedburrito]

Hey I really enjoyed this film. A lot. You covered a whole lot in 6 minutes, but it did not feel long or crammed. Good pacing.

I was impressed with Cupid's wings too. The ones at the end looked fake, but earlier, they stood up.

I think you told a good story and had good visuals and sound to back it up. I wish we had seen their first kiss, but I can live without it.

On the critiquing side, I felt your lead actor needed a little work. I think he could have put some more energy into his down and out stage. Then the next stage would have seemed even better. Also I think some more folley work would have been nice, but I am nitpicking.

Overall I really enjoyed your short a lot. Keep up the good work.

[Ted Arabian]

Hey DJ, Just watched your film.

Honestly, this story fell short for me. I thought that the idea was nice but I thought it got totally bogged down in the bedroom. I felt that pace of the film just sputter there. Perhaps it all started when the guy got slammed into by a car traveling like 60 mph. He would be dead or at least in a hospital! Then to see her nursing him was comical to me. He would have had to have been under a real doctor's care. I can't believe that the injuries were that minor. And this could have been prevented with a much, MUCH less collision between man and machine. Then the rest could have played out smoother for me. (sorry to be a stickler with that.)

The performances from the actors were okay. I could see both of their characters going much farther with what you had given them.

The sound design went from great to bad at times.

I did see a lot of good effort here. I just feel that the story needed to be revamped. I really would have loved to see a montage of arguing spouses and such for Cupid to give up his duties vs. one arguing couple. But i do understand that these are limited budget films! LOL.

I hope that my comments are not taken too hard. There are many good things happening here, not to mention that you actually succeeded in telling your story in 6 minutes. (not an easy thing to do.)

Good for you for making a film and entering the fest. I hope that you are like me and grow from each experience!

Best,

Ted

[DJ Lewis]

Thanks for the comments! That's what this is all about. I hope to address some of these issues in the re-edit.

[Ted Arabian]

Thanks for the comments! That's what this is all about.
Too True! It it the feedback that I receive here that helps me in the next film that I make.

Best to you!

-Ted

[kurtmo]

I thought this was well shot. I liked the car crash clip and the framing of shots on the bed. There was a point or two in the middle that I wanted another audio track in the background.

Cute wings. Were those CG or just composited?
The story was OK. In general, I’m not a big fan of narration. It always makes me wonder if there was part of the story that needed something more to show the story. The lead must’ve been robo-Cupid to only end up with bruises after plowed over with the car.

[MDCFILMS]

Silly movie man. Quality pretty good. Audio needed a little work. Cinematography on a few shots where A+++++++! Story was eh? the story didn't do anything for me. I was hoping cupid was going to return to his job at the very end after finding out what true love is?
Good job man.

[Mark Johnson]

Cute wings. Were those CG or just composited?

DJ made a last minute post that he needed some VFX and I always try to help whenever I can. I gave him full warning (made him sign thick papers releasing me from liability for lame VFX) and told him that we didn't have enough time to really do a good job, but that I'd try to give him some wings.

Those are CG wings (actually a dismembered 3D swan I had in the library). I actually had the shots completed on my laptop when it got stolen so I had to redo them in basically a day and poor DJ had to wait until 2 hours before deadline to get the last sequence.

Anyway, I'm delighted to see this beautiful little story and am honored to be able to help. Next time I told him we'll start earlier and have some really awesome effects.

Mark

[DJ Lewis]

:dankk2: Thanks for stepping in Mark, and thanks for your help on the flick. I hope you checked out the top of the thread.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

The wings in the early stages were actually quite good, nice work!

This story was really well told. I had no problems with it and enjoyed the ride.
I thought the girl was quite good as well.

I probably would have went without the wings at the end but that's just me.

Nice entry.

Cheers,

Mike

[Chris Messineo]

I love the story and I'm so glad you were able to complete this in time (it's amazing actually).

Many of the shots are wonderful. You did a great job with the car hit.

The actors are a little rough around the edges and I think had there been time a little more rehearsal would of helped a lot.

Still, I enjoyed this a lot.

[DJ Lewis]

Thanks so much for the kind words. And you're right Chris; time was definatly a major factor in the production and post of this film. Given how little we had, I'm jazzed that we even pulled it off!

[Jason Ramsey]

I can't believe no one else thought to use Cupid in a LoveFest! :) You did it in a pretty cool way. Cupid struggling with the meaning of love. That's an interesting concept, and I enjoyed the story line.

I think this is one that could have benefited a bit from longer time format, but it worked pretty well within the 6 minutes as well. All the pieces are there, but some of the moments could have benefited from greater fleshing.

I actually think the basic story line that you laid out,and the format would work well as a movie on lifetime, or Hallmark or something liek that... and I do mean that as a compliment, and I"m only referencing the storyline and the basic format you've laid out for us.

So, again, I enjoyed the story of this, but think it's a story (at least as you presented it to us) that would be better suited for a longer time frame.

Don't have much else to say. It really is another one of those entries that just oozed of cuteness... but it didn't strike me as a cheezy cuteness. :)

I'm just commenting on the story, b/c that's the thing that stood out for me here. I'd really like for you to explore making this into a made for tv feature length and try shopping the script around, or something. That's just where I see it.

ANyways...... :)

Thanks for sharing your work.

Take care,
Jason

[bosindy]

congrats on your first film. Last night, I threw a few on for my girlfriend to watch and this was one of them. I liked this film. It reminded me of those 70's family type films one of the three networks would play on a Sunday night; the couple that doesn't get along and then they win each other over and one of them has a fun secret. There was a lot to like technically and story wise especially for your first film. I like the lead actress and think she did a good job. Your lead male could have been a little looser in his performance and maybe some more rehearsal could have helped. None of this was critical to what was accomplished though. Good job.

Jim

[hunter richards]

Michael Braud..Gumby is that you? What the heck are you doing in a dvxuser film? Small world, I thought you for sure disappeared by now! He needs to give me a call.

[DJ Lewis]

Michael Braud..Gumby is that you?

HA! Yes that is Gumby! He did some really cool stunt stuff that we weren't able to use for the cut. I'll have to point your way....

[hunter richards]

I used to skate with him, good old friend of mine. but I haven't talked to him in a year or so...

[Slimothy]

Bedtime Story! I really liked the car hit, I've been meaning to try one of those to see if I can get it right. Anyways, I thought it was pretty clever how the wings are in pieces later, nice touch.

The girl actress was really well cast IMO. I can see how time could have helped some stuff, but I think it's pretty solid as is. You should be proud.

[Blaine]

DJ, this was a fun little story. I liked the way you used the bedtime story to tell us about Cupid finding love. :thumbsup:

[Gohanto]

Nice work I really enjoyed the story of this one and thought it was an original idea.
The bedroom scene at 3:06 really just didn't work for me acting wise. Rather rough, but the rest of it was fine.

The bruises looked excellent and the wings were very good as well.

Liked the music and costume design as well.

[Kholi]

--------------BEDTIME STORY -- Spoilerific

I actually got to check this one out last night. However, I didn't have a chance to bring up my thoughts, or write 'em up anyway. I like the idea! And, I like the execution for the most part. There's actually a full blown narrative within this six minutes; nice.

Cupid is fitting for the theme, and I like the SOB better when he's dragged down to this humane state, trampled on, and taught a lil' lesson about what really happens when he goes shootin' people in the tail-end with those things. I think it works because we're all familiar with Cupid and what he does. We can all actually see him being COMPLETELY oblivious, as a world renowned character, to the hard lessons that love has to teach. So, by putting him in a situation that a lot of us can relate to on a very basic level (job failure in this case) and THEN shoveling his drunken heap into something that he's unfamiliar with (in this story) builds on a myth and creates a human out of it.

Suhweet.

I also like how I just totally forgot about the father and son scene in the beginning. Not because it was pointless, but because the scene right after it (jogging couple) introduced a completely different timeline yet still within context of the story. It went a ways toward "Oh! That's Cupid!" in the end. And, not in a way that I disliked, either. Honestly, it really worked. Good job.

Overall, it's a solid piece.

I do wonder, at the same time, if it's missing a target audience? For instance, in the beginning and in the end you have a solid G-rated short. In the center, it becomes pretty PGish PG-13esque because you're introducing alcohol and pregnancy. So there's two different ratings. I know I'm not the MPAA or anything, I bring it up because it seems like an audience shift back and forth. Nothing wrong with that! Just me thinkin' aloud.

Not gonna get into acting or anything else like that. You do what you can on no/low budget. I didn't have a huge problem with dialog, maybe a bit "thoughful" in the bedroom. Some times people don't exactly say what they mean, just as they sometimes don't mean what they say... that's what I mean.

=P

The title! Must be hard to really think of one for this but it's nowhere near as strong as the actual short.

Thanks for showin'! More Please!

[DJ Lewis]

I can't believe no one else thought to use Cupid in a LoveFest! You did it in a pretty cool way.
Yeah, I was shocked too!

I actually think the basic story line that you laid out,and the format would work well as a movie on lifetime, or Hallmark or something liek that... and I do mean that as a compliment… I'd really like for you to explore making this into a made for tv feature length and try shopping the script around, or something.
It reminded me of those 70's family type films one of the three networks would play on a Sunday night;

This is a huge compliment. I didn’t know if this type of film would play well to this mostly male audience. To my surprise, not only have you validated, but you’ve asked for more. Thank you.

[DJ Lewis]

Bedtime Story! I really liked the car hit, I've been meaning to try one of those to see if I can get it right.

What up, Fat Monsters! Thanks for you comments Slim and Baline...

I owe the car hit to Micheal (talent) and Wallace (dp). Both great guys who did some killer work. The talent is a trained stunt man, and we were able to shoot some footage of him flying off the back of the car, full impact to the ground, that didn't make the 6 minute cut. Hopefully you'll see that in an extended cut.

[Maximus]

I really liked your story, and I'm glad I watched it through till the end.

After watching a few very technically accomplished films before yours, I grew a little impatient when Cupid came on screen. The adr was off, the composite was off, the costume, the vfx (sorry Mark! I know you were rushed), the washed out look, the whole vibe was making me very uncomfortable. lol. Even the road where the joggers were running was so ugly, I was starting to twitch. Just a personal thing, but production value should always be considered, eye candy if you will. I think you could have found a better exterior location (freebie) to set that scene... Anyway, I stuck with it and I'm glad I did.

Once the girl came into the picture, the story really picked up steam. I became involved in the story, and the relationship between the two. I love Witness, and you captured that "mending" thing perfectly. I was particularly impressed with the montage of her outside the door. Very well done. The ending was a nice surprise, and tied up everything really well. Again, unfortunately the wings destroyed the illusion. I can understand how on paper the image of a baby with wings is awesome, but pulling it off is something else.

If the time and resources aren't available to do VFX right, it is better to reconsider them. Make your budget limitations work for you, and not against.

Even if this wasn't your first film, you did a great job!

[DJ Lewis]

Thanks Max for sticking with it until the end! Very good comments too...

Earlier in the the thread, I pointed out that a lot of the issues in this film came from me dragging my feet before starting production. I broke a lot of my personal rules in this film, but not entering this fest was not an option.

Once the fest is over, the team and I will take everyone's insights into consideration for the re-edit. Thanks again!

[Zak Forsman]

Thanks Max for sticking with it until the end! Very good comments too...

Earlier in the the thread, I pointed out that a lot of the issues in this film came from me dragging my feet before starting production. I broke a lot of my personal rules in this film, but not entering this fest was not an option.

Once the fest is over, the team and I will take everyone's insights into consideration for the re-edit. Thanks again!

Dj that's awesome... so glad to hear you're continuing to push forward on this. looking forward to seeing its next incarnation. :)

[DJ Lewis]

I do wonder, at the same time, if it's missing a target audience? For instance, in the beginning and in the end you have a solid G-rated short. In the center, it becomes pretty PGish PG-13esque because you're introducing alcohol and pregnancy. So there's two different ratings. I know I'm not the MPAA or anything, I bring it up because it seems like an audience shift back and forth. Nothing wrong with that! Just me thinkin' aloud.


Lol, yeah I got a personal note about Cupid's alocholoism really putting the person off, but I feel it worked. So far, that scene seems to be a crowd favorite.

Thank you for your comments Kholi!

[Brian Parker]

Good film. Everybody has pretty much already covered any points that I would make but I think you did a good job making things work, told a lot of story in a short time frame, and it was wrapped up at the end.

[DJ Lewis]

Thanks for watching Champ. Getting that story into 6 minutes was tough. I even had to cut a few things to make it work....

[Blaine]

Looking back on this fest I find it amazing that you were the ONLY person to latch onto the Cupid theme. Great call. :thumbsup:

[DJ Lewis]

From another thread....

Bedtime Story- DJ Lewis

Wow man, very sweet film. The girl was beautiful also. The story was good, but some of t was a bit weak, as well as
the dialog. I was wondering why the guy would stay in the room for that whole time. Cool that you had a baby in this,
must have been a bit challenging on that part.



Sweet film: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Beautiful girl: Cupid is her boyfriend in real life, watch yourself :)
Why Cupid stayed in the room: Well... depressed/angry people do unusual things sometimes.
Working with babies: That's a whole thread in itself.

[DJ Lewis]

Looking back on this fest I find it amazing that you were the ONLY person to latch onto the Cupid theme. Great call. :thumbsup:

I still can't get over this too! I guess I got really lucky...

[mentatDUKE]

Cool story. I like humanizing takes on mythological figures. When you showed the pregnancy reveal, I was like "WHOA! Cupid slipped one past the goalie!"

I liked the feathered wings on Cupid. The humor was light but effective. The little touches sell this for me. Listening closely to that couple arguing revealed some funny dialog, the girl taking Cupid back to her house to nurse him to health, and the ending are all tiny details that add texture to the story.

Creative film.

[jojopop]

I liked the storytelling aspect of this one. I'm always a sucker for films that work in a storytelling element and the more fantastic the better.

I dig the heart of the story and off-beat nature of it (reminded me a bit of a Life Less Ordinary...) and I was almost expecting someone to pick up cupid's bow and arrow and go on a 'love-spree' once he dropped it!

But otherwise, very sweet and some great ideas here!

[hunter richards]

Is this part of the sequel?
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/23459/1203640681.jpg
Was he smoking a cigarette while drinking moonshine?

[Rodney V. Smith]

There were some good elements in this movie and a few good moments as well that were definitely worth watching for. The story was enjoyable and some of your shots were pretty good. The actors were the weak point in this movie, and while some of it can be fixed in editing to shorten some of those moments, most times it felt like they were waiting for their lines of for someone to yell "action". Sit down and edit with pacing in mind, use some cutaways and it will significantly improve this piece, maybe with the right cuts you can even improve your actors performances... I've had to do a similar thing in one of my first shorts where we had one weak actress, but got so much coverage on her that we were able to make her look a lot better than she was. Amazing what you can do with editing...

Anyway, great offering and nice effects there. Yeah , you had some technical problems, but nothing you can't fix with a little more time and practice. All in all it was well done.

Brave choice going with Cupid and well done.

[DJ Lewis]

DUKE, Jojo, and Puck: Thanks for watching, I'm glad you were able to get past the film's short comings, and enjoy it for what I hoped it would be: a good story.

Just in case you didn't catch the top of the thread, time was a huge hurdle in the creation of this short (not to mention that our 3d artist's laptop was stolen 24 hours before the deadline.) So once everyone recoups from the fest, we can focus on cleaning things up (and I can include the scenes I had to cut to make this 6 minutes.)

Hunter: that's Cupid's evil twin brother, and he definitely will be making an appearance in the sequel - "Bedtime Story 2: Electric Boogaloo"

[Rodney V. Smith]

Hey we're all suckers for good stories. Now... about this "Hunter" dude.....

EDIT: oops, just ralized that it was a user namded HUmter.. but Hunter would be a good name for Cupid's evil brother....

[DJ Lewis]

... but Hunter would be a good name for Cupid's evil brother....

Hmm... One spreads love, the other spreads hate... :happy:Something to think about...

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Hey DJ nice job:

Some thoughts as I watch a second time:

Nice opening with the music and the baby monitor. Music lets us know that something else is up beyond the simple domestic scene we’re seeing.


Pretty well put together and interesting. My only problem is … I hit you with my car at full speed and just bring you home vs. call the cops, paramedics … etc.

His line … “For what” very simple, honest, funny. In other words well written and played.

Liked the touch of the red long johns.

I’ve said this in a couple of reviews now, but here again I found the cast to be charming,]

Nice job dood :beer:

[DJ Lewis]

Thanks for your comments Jack! Whew, fest is almost over and I haven't Jermey Hyler-ed yet....


My only problem is … I hit you with my car at full speed and just bring you home vs. call the cops, paramedics … etc.


This has been a big red question mark for a several, so I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this in the next version. So far I have two options:

1. Show the real speed limit on sign that was shot. 25 Mph... The scene will play out with her running to his side to inspect the damage; bloody, bruised, but nothing major

2. Per a crew member: "He is an angel, right?" Maybe he heals pretty quick, or what ever... just let the audience wonder.

Any thoughts?

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Neither really mitigates the problem ... she thinks she's hit someone and he's unconscious ... so at 25 MPH or 50 MPH normal "good" people do not break several laws and social contracts and moral taboos and leave the scene of the accident and lug the victim home. Especially since we know if your kid hits his head falling off the swing set you don't let him sleep.

If he has a conscusion he could go into a coma.

If she was some kind of eccentric, then ok. But it really has nothing to do with going 25 or 50. It has to do with the fact that he's unconscious and what she would plausibly do after hitting someone.

Now .... with a reshoot, he could briefly insist on not going to a hospital (we would presume that he didn't want to go there so they wouldn't find out he was "different").

That would help some. He can do all manner of things to justify behavior outside normal human patterns, but she has to act like a real person.

Also I would give him just one bump on the head.

[DJ Lewis]

Only one?:)

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Well if he looks sooo beat to hell it strains credibility even further that she wouldn't take him to a hospital.

Maybe not just one. But still putting yourself in her shoes as someone that doesn't know he's an angel ... you hit a stranger with your car ... they're unconscious ... what do you do .... what do you do :)
http://i.rollingstone.com/assets/rs/115/76615/images/00110745.jpg

[tmnt]

There was some good stuff in this, you did well. Cupid is a lucky man, Susan reminds me of Emily Blunt.

Congrats on getting it in on time and looking forward to more flicks from you.

[DJ Lewis]

Thanks for watching tmnt. i plan to build on everything that was learned during this fest.