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totitefilms
02-08-2008, 09:58 PM
Hello,

I started this project thanks to the idea of Existentialist, who is a long time dvxuser. I visited this forum often and knew about this LoveFest but I never thought of participating it. Existentialist wanted to participate but couldn't make it at the last minute because he was busy with another movie project. I wanted to make my first movie so I decided to commit to this LoveFest. It's my first time so there was a lot to learn and also a lot of problems to solve. Fortunately, thanks to a very talented and dedicated crew, I finally finished the filming but the rough draft of this movie was about 11 minutes and I thought I might not make it due to the length restriction. I even thought about shooting another movie for the festival and actually wrote a script for it. My friends however kept encouraging me and gave me ideas so I tried to remove a bunch of footages and even had to let the title running over the first scene of the movie. I finally was able to cut the length down to 6 minutes. I'm not sure how many milliseconds that I go over the limit but I hope the judges don't mind this :-). Anyhow, here is the poster of the movie and some information about the cast.


http://www.pbase.com/taleoflens/image/92640356.jpg

Ted Arabian
02-08-2008, 10:08 PM
Nice! Welcome!!!

I have seen other filmmakers host their own "director's cut" AFTER the festival is over. (I believe!)

I know that I have to present at least an 8 minute film of "Love" after the voting.

Good luck! And again, WELCOME to the FEST! (It's a great time and a wonderful learning experience if you know what to look for!)

Best,

-Ted

totitefilms
02-08-2008, 10:09 PM
Cast

Tyler: Mike DeVenny
Jen/Jess: Traion Le
Tyler's roommate: Tony Silva (aka Existentialist)
Jess's boyfriend: Konrad Winderl
Female bus rider: Wendi Adams
Male at the bus stop: Dain Okimoto

Costume: Grace Silva
Editing adviser: Payton Cannon
Assistant producer: Trung Nguyen
Script supervisor: Konrad Winderl
Boom operators: Payton Cannon, Savannah Silva

Music
Pluck Daisy, Kevin McLeod (incompetech.com)
Impending Boom, Kevin McLeod (incompetech.com)
Up on a Housetop, Kevin McLeod (incompetech.com)

Writer/Director/Editor/Sound: Don Ha

totitefilms
02-08-2008, 10:11 PM
Nice! Welcome!!!

I have seen other filmmakers host their own "director's cut" AFTER the festival is over. (I believe!)

I know that I have to present at least an 8 minute film of "Love" after the voting.

Good luck! And again, WELCOME to the FEST! (It's a great time and a wonderful learning experience if you know what to look for!)

Best,

-Ted

Thanks for the welcome :beer:I indeed plan to release the director cut later :-). Good luck to you also.

Ted Arabian
02-08-2008, 10:11 PM
Oops! Sorry... I took your 2nd post. Oh well, you only have a couple of days before the fest anyways!

Nice size cast and crew for your first film....

:thumbsup:

RyanT
02-08-2008, 10:12 PM
Awesome that you were able to get it down, I know that's always hard. Looking forward to seeing your film.

Ted Arabian
02-08-2008, 10:12 PM
Thanks for the welcome :beer:I indeed plan to release the director cut later :-). Good luck to you also.

Thanks! You, too! I look forward to seeing both of your cuts. (a great way to learn is to observe!)

-Ted

totitefilms
02-08-2008, 10:17 PM
Some pictures of the cast


Mike

http://www.pbase.com/taleoflens/image/92692291.jpg




Traion

http://www.pbase.com/taleoflens/image/92710886.jpg



Wendi


http://www.pbase.com/taleoflens/image/92692451.jpg

totitefilms
02-08-2008, 10:37 PM
Oops! Sorry... I took your 2nd post. Oh well, you only have a couple of days before the fest anyways!

Nice size cast and crew for your first film....

:thumbsup:

Thanks. I looked over your film thread and it looks like we all share the same love for rose ;-)

totitefilms
02-08-2008, 10:44 PM
Awesome that you were able to get it down, I know that's always hard. Looking forward to seeing your film.

Thanks. I was lucky to work with a very good team. Half of them are first timers also and we were able to pull it off together.

Jason Ramsey
02-08-2008, 10:55 PM
Welcome to the fest, man. glad to have you here.

later,
Jason

totitefilms
02-10-2008, 10:49 AM
I'm glad that I'm able to participate and finish right before the deadline also. It's like I've just finished a filming class ;-)

Robbie Comeau
02-10-2008, 11:52 AM
Wendi is stunning.

Have fun with it!

Existentialist
02-11-2008, 05:28 PM
Hi Don!
Wow, I was only able to check your emails and thread today after weeks of travelling and so forth! Good job! Well done! I'm proud of you, man! Keep up the good work and stay in touch!!

Slimothy
02-11-2008, 06:06 PM
I'm glad that I'm able to participate and finish right before the deadline also. It's like I've just finished a filming class ;-)

Know whatcha mean man! I learned so much from this festival. What a great time.

Glad you could join us.

Tim.

Marlon Ladd
02-12-2008, 06:19 AM
Cool poster. Nice looking cast as well. Um, is Traion single? LOL.

Good luck!

totitefilms
02-13-2008, 09:32 PM
Hi Don!
Wow, I was only able to check your emails and thread today after weeks of travelling and so forth! Good job! Well done! I'm proud of you, man! Keep up the good work and stay in touch!!

Hi Tony,

I'm glad to see you here. I hope everything is going fine with you and your family in OK. I've heard you're going to film a feature soon. Good luck to you and thanks for helping me out :dankk2:

totitefilms
02-13-2008, 09:34 PM
Know whatcha mean man! I learned so much from this festival. What a great time.

Glad you could join us.

Tim.


Yes, it's definitely quite a challenge for me and I love it :happy:

totitefilms
02-13-2008, 09:35 PM
Wendi is stunning.

Have fun with it!

I'll let her know about your comment :thumbsup:

totitefilms
02-13-2008, 09:36 PM
Cool poster. Nice looking cast as well. Um, is Traion single? LOL.

Good luck!

Yes she's single and :2vrolijk_08:Good luck to you as well!

ngagpa
02-14-2008, 12:40 AM
You did it!! Right on ... I like it; looks amazing. Cutesy and very 2/14 day! 8-D Giv' 'em bra . . .

Gohanto
02-14-2008, 01:08 AM
You did a pretty good job and had a nice story, but the technical problems really distract a lot, especially the jump cutting and sound jumping all over the place with every cut. On the story side, his dream about finding her with the other guy, wouldn't it make more sense to say... kill the other guy or do something driven by his emotion at that point? Getting hit by a car just comes out of no where and doesn't really add anything. That's telling the audience "hope these pictures aren't what they look like or the main character gets hit by a car in an unhappy accident". When really, the car accident can just as easily happen under any conditions.

The shot I liked most was the one of the bus taking off through the front window.
Acting was okay.

Kholi
02-14-2008, 11:31 AM
Hey Toite,

Do you have another cut of this with the technical issues fixed? I honestly wouldn't want to formulate thoughts and opinions when technical issues jump out like that. It's not fair to the content, to me.

I'll reserve thoughts til some stuff gets fixed on this one.

Ted Arabian
02-14-2008, 11:55 AM
Totite, just watched your film.

Nice job.

I have to tell you that the sound is a real issue. There is dialogue out of alignment with the footage throughout and then there is the issue of only dialogue/sound coming from the left speaker! Very distracting.

The actual story is cute and worth watching. However, I feel that you could give your viewers a much more pleasant experience with some additional shots. Everything is a master shot. I would love to see some reverses. Get that camera on the peoples faces!

I don't know your experience at all. But I hope that you had a good time and learned a lot. It takes these experiences to really learn what the hell we are doing! LOL!

Lighting was very dark. Especially at the bus stop. I am sure that you probably shot this run-n-gun style... I just wish you found a bus stop with better lighting!

Lot's of thing for you to take away from this. The most important thing is that you made a film and submitted it! There are MANY who don't.

Congrats to you!

Best,
Ted

Michael Anthony Horrigan
02-15-2008, 06:15 PM
I would really just echo a lot of the above if I were to write a review. I think you know about all the unfortunate issues with this one. Some bad edits of the same shot as well. Shoot everything from different angles and mix and match.

Now... I did like a lot of your shot choices and I thought the ending was pretty good.

Cheers,

Chris Messineo
02-16-2008, 08:28 AM
Congratulations on completing the film.

As others have mentioned, it's a little rough around the edges technically - the audio, the framing, the jump cuts.

Still, you managed to get it done in time, which is more than I can say. :)

kurtmo
02-17-2008, 07:58 AM
The audio was way off on my copy That really annoyed.
I thought it was cool that you filmed on the bus and I liked the street locations. I thought the two women actresses did a good job. That said, the story was a bit far fetched. And you need to find a way to sync the audio.
Thanks for filming.

hoz
02-18-2008, 05:30 PM
nice film.

audio and editing issues are there and already spoken about in previous reviews.

so... i love the bus scene idea. moving your film out and about is cool. and the lead wasnt all too bad. bumping into the stranger before the bus arrived didnt look too authentic though. and the story is okay, but what are the odds of finding his girlfriend's twin's lost camera? kinda hard to believe. maybe make it so the girlfriend left it at his apartment and he was on his way to return it or something? just my thoughts... congrats on your film! thanks.

Dustin R. Rogan
02-18-2008, 05:43 PM
Being Honest, It was very difficult to watch...Jump cuts really annoy me. I guess that me being a television technical director for a living. I also didn't believe the girlfriends acting, seemed fake and hard to believe. Audio on the bus was off. But I'll say that you completed the short and I could follow the story seemed kinda weak though.

totitefilms
02-21-2008, 01:26 AM
You did a pretty good job and had a nice story, but the technical problems really distract a lot, especially the jump cutting and sound jumping all over the place with every cut. On the story side, his dream about finding her with the other guy, wouldn't it make more sense to say... kill the other guy or do something driven by his emotion at that point? Getting hit by a car just comes out of no where and doesn't really add anything. That's telling the audience "hope these pictures aren't what they look like or the main character gets hit by a car in an unhappy accident". When really, the car accident can just as easily happen under any conditions.

The shot I liked most was the one of the bus taking off through the front window.
Acting was okay.

Thanks for reviewing the movie. About the story, I wanted the movie to have a positive tone so I didn't want the actors to kill each other. The car accident was also supposed to make the movie a little bit funny but I guess it wasn't funny enough for you :) And yes the audio is a big problem. Larry actually asked me if I could fix it before the deadline but I didn't have enough time. The problem seems to come from .Net version in my PC and the 24p pull-down removal method that I was using. I'll try to fix the audio later in the director cut version :thumbsup:

totitefilms
02-21-2008, 01:36 AM
Hey Toite,

Do you have another cut of this with the technical issues fixed? I honestly wouldn't want to formulate thoughts and opinions when technical issues jump out like that. It's not fair to the content, to me.

I'll reserve thoughts til some stuff gets fixed on this one.

I've been traveling and won't be able to work on the movie for another 3 weeks. I'm using the PC from an internet cafe. I'll post the new version once I get the audio issue fixed. By the way, my nick is supposed to be "to` ti' te". I know it sounds like "to tits" or "too tight" for some people :shocked:

KenV
02-21-2008, 02:09 AM
Almost all the dialogue AND "most" of the audio is on the left/mono side, it's annoyting, an lost me to the point I didn't want to watch/listen anymore. . .

mentatDUKE
02-21-2008, 08:47 AM
Congrats on completing the film. There were some technical and storytelling issues, but keep going. Practice makes perfect.

Rodney V. Smith
02-21-2008, 08:36 PM
Reminded me a lot of my first film with most of the master shots. Some closeups would have been nice and you'll find can make such a huge difference in editing.

The sound issues were distracting, but the story was easy enough to follow. One thing you could try to fix the audio is doing a little bit of ADR... sit in the car with your actors and have them act their lines while you get a clean sound. It won't be perfect, but gives you a hell of a lot more room to play with, especially when you have a closeup to cut to when some audio doesn't match up.

A little practice and working with your actors to remind them not to "act" but just talk, and it's remarkable how you can make almost anyone an actor, even me :-D

Luis Caffesse
02-22-2008, 11:20 AM
I'm not going to bother commenting on technical issues because I'll assume most have already mentioned the issues.

Interesting story - I would have liked to have gotten to the camera a bit sooner, so as to hook me sooner. Until that point it's really all exposition, and if you can find a way to hook us early enough then the exposition will go down easier (at least from an audience point of view).

Also, as far as story structure goes I would concentrate on finding ways to tell us things visually - you did a great job with that from the point that he finds the camera to the point that he gets off the bus...but that entire ending is simply too explanitory for me - it seems like there would be a nice visual and cinematic way to reveal that she has a twin. So i think the excecution could use a little rethinking -

But the concept is solid, and your visual segments work nicely.
Nice slow dolly on the Parkside Tower shot as well - that really helped the mood you were going for, I think.
:thumbsup:

I hope we see another one from you in the next fest.

Marlon Ladd
02-22-2008, 01:40 PM
I liked the story here as well. The technical issues can definately be fixed - the audio for example. I think sometimes people underestimate just how important good, consistent audio is. The best audio is the kind that goes totally unoticed (except for big time sound fx). Just keep working at it to make it seamless and you'll see how much of a difference it makes. There were some really good shots in here and an element of suspense. Good job.

Brian Parker
02-22-2008, 05:21 PM
There's a good concept here and you executed it for the most part. You could try a larger shot variation. I enjoyed your shot outside of the tower. Also, I know people have mentioned the audio and I know from first hand experience that it is crucial to have good audio or your audience is completely thrown from the film.

I see potential here and there were some elements that showed promise. Keep on truckin'.

totitefilms
04-08-2008, 12:31 AM
Totite, just watched your film.

Nice job.

I have to tell you that the sound is a real issue. There is dialogue out of alignment with the footage throughout and then there is the issue of only dialogue/sound coming from the left speaker! Very distracting.

The actual story is cute and worth watching. However, I feel that you could give your viewers a much more pleasant experience with some additional shots. Everything is a master shot. I would love to see some reverses. Get that camera on the peoples faces!

I don't know your experience at all. But I hope that you had a good time and learned a lot. It takes these experiences to really learn what the hell we are doing! LOL!

Lighting was very dark. Especially at the bus stop. I am sure that you probably shot this run-n-gun style... I just wish you found a bus stop with better lighting!

Lot's of thing for you to take away from this. The most important thing is that you made a film and submitted it! There are MANY who don't.

Congrats to you!

Best,
Ted

I just got back from my trip recently and was busy with my real job until now. Thanks for the comments. I'll make sure to have better sound and some close-up shots in my next movie :smile: By the way, I saw your movie also and it was HOT :D

totitefilms
04-08-2008, 12:39 AM
nice film.

audio and editing issues are there and already spoken about in previous reviews.

so... i love the bus scene idea. moving your film out and about is cool. and the lead wasnt all too bad. bumping into the stranger before the bus arrived didnt look too authentic though. and the story is okay, but what are the odds of finding his girlfriend's twin's lost camera? kinda hard to believe. maybe make it so the girlfriend left it at his apartment and he was on his way to return it or something? just my thoughts... congrats on your film! thanks.

hey movies are mostly fantasies right? where you can make the most out of your imagination so everything can happen in a movie. However, your idea is cool. I'll see if I can write another script about it :happy:

totitefilms
04-08-2008, 12:47 AM
Reminded me a lot of my first film with most of the master shots. Some closeups would have been nice and you'll find can make such a huge difference in editing.

The sound issues were distracting, but the story was easy enough to follow. One thing you could try to fix the audio is doing a little bit of ADR... sit in the car with your actors and have them act their lines while you get a clean sound. It won't be perfect, but gives you a hell of a lot more room to play with, especially when you have a closeup to cut to when some audio doesn't match up.

A little practice and working with your actors to remind them not to "act" but just talk, and it's remarkable how you can make almost anyone an actor, even me :-D


I wish I had more time to work on the sound issue. I actually wanted to reshoot the last scene at the bus stop but it was too late but the actor and actress weren't available. I think the mono sound problem was from converting avi to mov format. I just got to know how to fix it recently so hopefully this problem will go away in my next movie. Thanks for the comments.

totitefilms
04-08-2008, 12:54 AM
I'm not going to bother commenting on technical issues because I'll assume most have already mentioned the issues.

Interesting story - I would have liked to have gotten to the camera a bit sooner, so as to hook me sooner. Until that point it's really all exposition, and if you can find a way to hook us early enough then the exposition will go down easier (at least from an audience point of view).

Also, as far as story structure goes I would concentrate on finding ways to tell us things visually - you did a great job with that from the point that he finds the camera to the point that he gets off the bus...but that entire ending is simply too explanitory for me - it seems like there would be a nice visual and cinematic way to reveal that she has a twin. So i think the excecution could use a little rethinking -

But the concept is solid, and your visual segments work nicely.
Nice slow dolly on the Parkside Tower shot as well - that really helped the mood you were going for, I think.
:thumbsup:

I hope we see another one from you in the next fest.


I like your positive comments :thumbsup: It's my first movie so I'm sure there are a lot of things to fix. I'm glad that I was able to join this LoveFest. I did learn a lot from it. I'm thinking about joining the TimeFest also if time permits.

totitefilms
04-08-2008, 12:59 AM
By the way, I can't reply to everyone but I really appreciate your comments and your time and I apologize for not late responses. Please check the links below for the longer version of this movie. The dialog sync problem should be gone but the mono sound problem is still there. I'll fix it in my next movie :-).

http://www.vimeo.com/845168

or


http://youtube.com/watch?v=pTWkxHXCiw8