WISH - a short movie by Dudley Christian

[artofsuntzu]

A young girl tries to use the wishing-tools of children to get what she loves most.

http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/5732/wishposter1jx6.jpg

[artofsuntzu]

Cast

Nick Bruechert as "Dad"
http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/3391/dvx0bul1.jpg

Lauren as "Kate"


Conrad as "Jack"


Jandreett Totosaus M. as "Mom"
http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/7398/dvx0aph6.jpg


Production

http://img516.imageshack.us/img516/4894/haniapic001mk3.jpg
soundtrack and special arrangements, Hania Zdunkiewicz

[artofsuntzu]

Updating grabs while we wait for the festival to open for download:

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/6918/dvx6bd4.jpg

http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/6729/dvx6aef6.jpg

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/5931/dvx6bel1.jpg

http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/3283/dvx6dtn1.jpg

http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/4078/dvx6eec6.jpg






3ds max for storyboarding.

http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/8967/3ds001cr3.jpghttp://img152.imageshack.us/img152/9641/3ds002ah0.jpg

[Luis Caffesse]

reserved (I hope I'm following the 12-steps correctly)

You're doing just fine.
:thumbsup:

[Larry Rutledge]

I hope I'm following the 12-steps correctly You're doing just fine.

I beg to differ .. I just checked my PayPal account, and the requisite Fest GateKeeper fee isn't there yet :evil: :grin:

[artofsuntzu]

But Luis Caffesse's PM said to pay him directly :huh:



(thanks for the feedback. quite honestly, this group set the bar so high I'm a little afraid of nosebleeds)

[artofsuntzu]

I thought I'd take this opportunity to practice using a 3d program for storyboarding. Hand-drawn-chicken-scratch and 2d Adobe Illustrator works fine for me... but there are those times when I'm trying a risky shot and it'd be nice to have a solid sharing of the vision with the cast/crew. Especially with 4 year old actors.

So far I'm finding an unexpected benefit. I'm starting to edit inside 3ds as a virtual movie, with realtime camera cuts and timing. Addressing shot timing now is already showing me what scenes are working (and aren't working).

The potential cast seems to like it so far, too. Oh, yeah, I gotta get their headshots up soon.

[Mark Johnson]

Its great to see you using Max for storyboarding/camera tests. I hope you can post some screenshots as you progress.

We'll be using some 3D for camera tests and boarding ourselves and I'll post some of our frames when we get to that point.

[artofsuntzu]

I can't wait to see some of your frames.

I'm finding a lot of ways to approach this method, so I'll be curious to see some of the decisions you've made. Just trying to strike a balance between time spent on the computer and time saved on location.

[x-angel]

never thought of using 3DSMax for Storyboarding

[artofsuntzu]

I've looked at FrameForge and the like, but 3ds is great for accurate lensing and animation (I'm sure Maya too). I like the lensing for confined space decisions. And I like the real-time animation because it's creating a timeline that I can replicate in Vegas almost key-by-key. (great, now everyone knows I'm a geek).

Plus it's fun to see scenes running on the screen that elicite reactions from my preview critic: wife.

Well, this is still an experiment. I'm hoping it doesn't bog things down. What are you guys using?

[Mark Johnson]

Good points. Discussing technique is one of the real benefits of this forum. Max is dynamite for previz and animation tests, but it isn't exactly good for quick and dirty if you have to do a lot of character work. As a storyboard tool I find FrameForge pretty decent once you get the hang of their quirky character posing approach. Also, it does generate pretty useful stats for your camera positions and lenses and has some pretty efficient tools for building sets, adding doors etc. that would otherwise take some time in Max.

We are among the few who actually use Poser with some frequency for scene tests because of its pre-rigged characters with a lot of cheap costuming available for free or low cost. For rendering and animation we simply open the Poser scenes in Max using Reiss Body Studio. I was able to set up, light and render the little short film Daydreams in three evenings using Poser and Max whereas it would have taken weeks of work to do it solely in Max.

Since we're trying to do this one "correctly" and with attention to pre-production, we hope to shoot some quick and dirty tests on low-res video and static cams to make some decisions regarding our setups. We'll post stuff as we complete it and hopefully can come up with at least a few things of interest and of use to other geeks like you!

[artofsuntzu]

Very nice. Your experience has already given me some ideas that I'm going to look into for saving more time. Thanks for sharing.

Oh yeah, another benefit, it doesn't hurt integrating 3ds as storyboarder and as a way to workout what clean-slates I need ahead of time since I might be using it for some CGI too.

I have to admit, this festival is serving its purpose when it comes to getting me off my @ss and trying some things I would have otherwise postponed.

[artofsuntzu]

I'm practicing with a workflow experiment that's new to me.

First, I've created a to-scale environment in 3ds. On real locations, I found that rehearsing and blocking often reveals worthwhile story aspects. This is happening inside the 3ds max environment. The story is only roughly outlined. I'm letting the 3d environment act as a stream of consciousness for story details.

http://img106.imageshack.us/img106/8527/3dhousefa6.jpg

Second, I'm taking renders of the moving cameras and loading them into Vegas. Right now I've done a rough cut of the first scene against the soundtrack. I'm trying to see how much of the story I can tell with visuals before adding dialogue enrichment. (Bonus: I have slots I can use when the live footage is shot)

http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/6572/2564rj1.jpg

As a result, I'm finding it useful to 1) start with basic story elements 2) block camera in 3d, 3) edit renders in Vegas, then 4) write the script pages for actors and crew for December. (odd workflow, huh)

I'm saving time by using only minimal materials, right now. I'm trying only to spend the kind of time as I would on hand sketches... so that weird 'sword' thing you see at the beginning of the movie is actually a Toy Remote Control. I think my crew will be happy just to see that I stopped using hand sketches...

http://img104.imageshack.us/img104/2060/2563jo0.jpg

Anyway, if you want photorealism, definitely go see Mark Johnson... or "Mr. Industrial Light & Magic" in my mind.

[Mark Johnson]

It is so great to see this insight into your workflow experimentation. Really cool stuff. A couple of questions:

1) Have you calibrated your camera and aspect ratio to what you are shooting?

2) Where did the soundtrack come from? It really is beautiful and poignant.

3) Will you "shoot" alternative versions of any scenes and when do you plan on showing clips to your cast?

4) When are you shooting in December?

[artofsuntzu]

1) Have you calibrated your camera and aspect ratio to what you are shooting?
I've calibrated the 3ds cameras to match my DV100. My shot list is taken from 3ds camera information: lenses, height, Tilt. I like talking in terms of standard 3ds/film lenses (32, 50, 85, 135, 200 mm) and do a conversion to DVX zoom settings at the last minute (0, 25, 55, 75, 85 % zoom).


2) Where did the soundtrack come from? It really is beautiful and poignant.
I found her on a royalty-free website that a DVXUser wrote about in the forum. I emailed her and got a lot of cool instrumental and voice-only tracks to help with my soundtrack. Yeah, she's great.

(technology is cool: I'm getting audio help from her in Australia, I'm getting video help from a guy in Hawaii, I'm in Canada, and we've never met in person)

3) Will you "shoot" alternative versions of any scenes and when do you plan on showing clips to your cast?
Absolutely. Anyone involved before shooting will be able to tweak and brainstorm ideas that I will then illustrate for them in 3ds max. That includes alternate ideas I have for certain scenes. It just a filename extension away.

On the shoot itself, I will be working with 5 and 7 year olds... so I expect everyone to conform to my 'single vision' and hit every mark I mapped for them, exactly :) Actually, I always like to get the shots I need first, then open things up for all alternatives and safety shots that seem necessary. I find by doing my homework first, it leaves everyone with enough extra time for improv on the day of shooting.


4) When are you shooting in December?
I'm thinking between Christmas and New Year, when one of my producer friends is in town. Hmmm... Christmas... I hope I'm not the entire crew at crunchtime.

BTW, thanks for not laughing at my simple 3d models; but, you get the idea.

[artofsuntzu]

Principal photography on adult scenes (um scenes with grown-ups) wrapped a week ago. The 5 year old star prefers to work only 6 minutes a day. So, there will be 2 more weeks of shooting the 5 year old (uh filming) remaining.

No prob, the 3ds max animatics inside of the Vegas timeline has served its purpose: if the animatic clip on the timeline lasts only 12 seconds, then we don't inconvenience the kindergartener more than 12 seconds plus taperoll time.
http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/6106/dvx1dba4.jpg

I'm glad we spent the extra time in pre-viz.

[artofsuntzu]

I wanted to show a .mov of the animatic, but it really IS the whole show. So, instead of getting DQ'ed, here's a BTS still that we used for comparing real lighting and camera positioning against the 3ds expectation:


3ds top view port used for camera blocking.
http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/5620/dvx1cjo9.jpg



3ds camera render for lighting expectation.
http://img246.imageshack.us/img246/8233/dvx1acb3.jpg



BTS on-set lighting test.
http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/8729/dvx1bxw1.jpg

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Interesting. This is really looking like an early film that I did.

No, I'm not accusing you of anything. :)
I'm just interested in seeing how it plays out.

Cheers,

Mike

[artofsuntzu]

Interesting. This is really looking like an early film that I did.

Hmmm, I can't think of any outside influences on this one... well, other than my wife forcing me to cast my daughter as a protagonist, finally.

But, if we have similar styles maybe there's a kindred Canadian connection we should look into developing someday.

Anyway, I'll be happy just to get my very first DVX entry in ontime. I'm honoured to be compared to anyone in this group.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Hmmm, I can't think of any outside influences on this one... well, other than my wife forcing me to cast my daughter as a protagonist, finally.

But, if we have similar styles maybe there's a kindred Canadian connection we should look into developing someday.

Anyway, I'll be happy just to get my very first DVX entry in ontime. I'm honoured to be compared to anyone in this group.I'm sure it's very different. The shots and tag-line are just giving me flashbacks. :)

I had my daughter in mine as well.

Best of luck!

It's looking good.

Cheers,

Mike

[artofsuntzu]

Here's a fraction of my crew and the beginning of the first interior shot.

This group is amazing. They're the kind of people who make you want to secure big movie budgets just so you can reward them and have them play in Hollywood.


http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/6520/dvx3aju5.jpg


(as you can tell, my entry for the lovefest could have been a documentary on how I feel about my crew)

[artofsuntzu]

This DIY head & tripod setup worked pretty good when the star would rather play with her entourage than watch us move lights around:



Ready the stand-in for lights ...
http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/2396/dvx3bwi6.jpg



... ok, now shoot!
http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/8990/dvx3crq6.jpg

[Luis Caffesse]

Nice grabs.
And I'm loving the 'stand in'
Brilliant.
:thumbsup:

[artofsuntzu]

And I'm loving the 'stand in'


Yeah, some of the guys did too :)

http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/8435/dvx3dik0.jpg

[artofsuntzu]

http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/9765/dvx4afa1.jpg

http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/3938/dvx4byb9.jpg


I have no illusions... the crew works for the craft services table, not for me :)

[Chris Messineo]

Great BTS shots.

I've shot several shorts with children and stand-ins are great to have, as a child's patience disappears quickly. :)

[artofsuntzu]

Great BTS shots.

I've shot several shorts with children and stand-ins are great to have, as a child's patience disappears quickly. :)

I think it might become a permanent addition to the old DIY toolbox... for kid and adult actors. Worked for focusing against the chart, white balancing, and f-stop ratio lighting all-in-one.

Now, if the rest of the production would work out as conveniently. Ah, well...

[artofsuntzu]

Night Exterior shots in BC.

(at the time of these grabs, THIS was going to be the best weather in 2 weeks according to weathernetwork.com)


Wet and cold ...
http://img49.imageshack.us/img49/9417/dvx5afl4.jpg


... even near the lighting.
http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/4523/dvx5bmy1.jpg


There's nothing like 18 cents of Glad products to protect $5000 in equipment.
http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/1770/dvx5ceb6.jpg


Yeah, after seeing BTS from those 'other' forum groups, we see how happy and fun and warm and dry it would be shooting exteriors in SoCal. But, maybe this builds character. Yeah, right. It just motivates us to shoot day-for-night more often. :)

[artofsuntzu]

I just updated the grabs section while we wait for the festival to open officially.

I'm glad to see my buddy (and some virtual buddies) get their uploads in, under the midnight wire.

I wasn't sure about Wish given some emotional obstacles during production: one family member passed away, only to be followed by another family death a week later. Two funerals in one month was more than I've ever seen. Then, during the compression/upload/weekend, a friend from the past died as well. Funeral's today. (as if crafting a short-movie story isn't introspective enough)

Anyway, I really wanted to update the thread earlier. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone's entries.

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/6918/dvx6bd4.jpg

http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/6729/dvx6aef6.jpg

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http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/3283/dvx6dtn1.jpg

http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/4078/dvx6eec6.jpg

[Danielleus]

Lloks like it'll be fun. Good luck.

[jojopop]

I know it's a late comment, but I used 3DS and Poser way back to do some boards and it worked out really well. I'm glad to see you were able to employ 3DS here to great effect. My virtual sets weren't nearly as detailed as yours, but they got the job done. I mainly used it for quick and dirty visualizations. Seeing what you've been doing has me thinking of revisiting 3DS and maybe utilizing it as prep tool again...

Looking forward to the finished product!

[Ted Arabian]

Updating grabs while we wait for the festival to open for download:

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/6918/dvx6bd4.jpg

http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/6729/dvx6aef6.jpg

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/5931/dvx6bel1.jpg


Wow! Dude! I love these grabs! Nice. Very cool banner as well. Caught my eye. You should link this thread to it, though.

Great looking work. Can't wait to see.

-Ted

[Ted Arabian]

This DIY head & tripod setup worked pretty good when the star would rather play with her entourage than watch us move lights around:



Ready the stand-in for lights ...
http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/2396/dvx3bwi6.jpg



... ok, now shoot!
http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/8990/dvx3crq6.jpg

LMAO!!! THIS IS GREAT, too!

[artofsuntzu]

Lloks like it'll be fun. Good luck.
Thanks, everyone had a fun time making it. They're already asking me about the next dvxfest crew call.

If that happens, it might even be more fun to load up the van and hijack our way onto some of the other production sets... what's fat monster's address? :)

[artofsuntzu]

I know it's a late comment, but I used 3DS and Poser way back to do some boards and it worked out really well. I'm glad to see you were able to employ 3DS here to great effect. My virtual sets weren't nearly as detailed as yours, but they got the job done. I mainly used it for quick and dirty visualizations. Seeing what you've been doing has me thinking of revisiting 3DS and maybe utilizing it as prep tool again...

Looking forward to the finished product!

Not late at all. In fact, I was just making another pitch to my buddies about how this process might become a mainstay to our pre-production. Having animated camera renders just meant that we saved so much time during the shoot and during post edit.

Time management was a big worry for me with the kid actors.

[artofsuntzu]

... You should link this thread to it, though.

... Can't wait to see.


-Ted

Thank you very much.

About the banner link? Oh, man. Um, I'm looking away in embarassment. Yeah, I can deliver for clients, but when it comes to a simple link for myself... I guess it's that Cobbler's son and shoes paradox :)

I'm really looking forward to everyone's entries. The DVX fests beat so many other festivals I've sat through before.




Has anyone here ever thought of pooling the DVXfest talent into a collective towards making the ultimate full-length feature?



.

[mentatDUKE]

Hey SunTzu. I like the framing in your grabs. Most people use shallow focus as a storytelling technique, so it's a nice change of pace to see you forego DOF adapters and concentrate on framing, scale, color, comp, etc.

Looking forward to this.

[artofsuntzu]

Hey SunTzu. I like the framing in your grabs. Most people use shallow focus as a storytelling technique, so it's a nice change of pace to see you forego DOF adapters and concentrate on framing, scale, color, comp, etc.

Looking forward to this.

Thanks for the kind words. Although I am fond of my homemade, ground-glass adapter, I'm still kind of a sucker for mise-en-scene.

[Kholi]

WISH -- Very mature subject matter to tackle, here. Spoilerish

This is a tough one. Not only to think about, but well because of the subject matter. It's really sad, to be honest with ya. To the point where I wonder why? It seems like such a hard, sad lesson times two when you consider, in the span of what seems to be a day she's lost her fish and her brother.

Can I ask what moved you to write it this way? Or to have the outcome be so? For such an ending, I'm not sure if there was enough in place to really set me up for it. Whether it would feel the same the other way around I'm not sure. It's just thinking out loud, here.

Another thought I had was that the goldfish really seemed like a "gotcha" ploy. Perhaps you wanted us to think that she was being selfish over a goldfish the entire time when her brother was sick? That's okay, and choice. It kind of feels "placed" and again... with the goldfish dying and the sequence right after this becomes a bit hard on the mind.

I also didn't really get how sick her brother was in the beginning. Coughing told me that he had a cold, but beyond that he didn't seem to be critically ill. Such an unfortunate disability or illness probably needed to be played up in a bit more, but not to the point of beating us over the head either. It's a fine line to walk when dealing with disease, illness, etc because a lot of the time it comes off as a plot device. A good thing to do, as a writer, is to really research the illness/ail you're choosing to write about. Find experiences from family members, friends or the internet so that when you put it to paper it's real. The coughing, then the sudden jolt to blood was an eyebrow cruncher. Bad things happen! I just am not sure if so many unfortunate things happening in this works for me. For others? Who knows! Again, just thoughts.


Your camera action feels motivated, which is good. A lot of it seemed "Speedy" to me but not bad. I wonder if slowing a bit of it down or lingering a little while longer on the prime subjects instead of background elements, etc would've put me more in the place you wanted me to be: with the little girl. I especially like the shots at the end and had you the ability to light those and spend more time with them, they would've been even better.

It's a solid go for damned sure. Like I said, everything feels motivated. At some junctions they don't connect for me. I would love to see something, however, from you with a larger crew, more time, and a well written script.

Thanks for exhibitin! I hope nothing like that is going on in your life right now. That's terrible.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Very tough working with kids, especially that young. Nice work.
The health of the brother kind of caught me off guard but it was nice to see the way this turned out.

Great storytelling, really nice music, and good framing!

Cheers,

[kurtmo]

I thought this film was well done. I liked the setup and the reveal. It worked for me. Cool shooting star effects.
I thought the opening star section could have been composited better, maybe some added motion blur and darker coloring. Also the keying towards the end was noticeable on my second time through. Where were you shooting those shots? Were they green screened?

I liked the use of the helicopter and how you worked that into each scene.

The camera work was good. The pan from element to element like at the beginning of the birthday scene worked well. The dolly shots vibrated a bit. I’m having a similar issue with my homemade dolly. What kind of a dolly did you use?

[artofsuntzu]

Also the keying towards the end was noticeable on my second time through. Where were you shooting those shots? Were they green screened?

Hey, thanks for watching and for makig the comments.

Yeah, that keying thing. Our FISH 'R US shot was shot at a TOYS 'R US and was going to be an easy 'blue sky' key... but eventually turned into an unexpected need to rotoscope. In hindsight I'd have just created the elements from scratch on green screen.

So, the only green screen used was a clean shot of the girl at the end with the "love you" line.

[artofsuntzu]

Very tough working with kids, especially that young. Nice work.
The health of the brother kind of caught me off guard but it was nice to see the way this turned out.

Great storytelling, really nice music, and good framing!

Cheers,

You're very kind to comment. Thank you very much for your feedback.

I wanted to experiment to see how much dramatic information I could get from a kindergartener without telegraphing things with V/O and such. It was a big gamble.

From the subject, to the items you mentioned, there were a lot of risks I wouldn't normally feel comfortable attempting. This fest is a great catalyst.

[Ted Arabian]

Hey Dudley, Nice Work!

You have a very touching and endearing story here. I loved the story.

I feel that there is some work to be done on the camera work. There are some very pretty shots and some not so pretty shots. But I am sure that you are aware of that.

Wonderful soundtrack. Sent chills down my spine at the end.

Really nice film. Nice story and a nice "twist."

Congrats!

-Ted

[artofsuntzu]

WISH -- Very mature subject matter to tackle, here. Spoilerish

This is a tough one.

Thank you so much for putting so much detail into your feedback. I respect everyone's comments/critiques so much.

<<spoilers after this point>>
There's some interesting things people look at on the second viewing. I'm getting feedback on when they notice the same Pajamas being worn over months (birthday, Christmas, Valentines) that it was a subtle way of showing that the illness was on-going.

Yeah, the subject. It's not happening to me, thankfully. I took Jack's storyline from actual accounts from the BC Transplant Society and personal experiences at our Children's Hospital. Things like waiting list timelines and infections were considered in the story.

But the most striking thing about the accounts is the similar experiences people have at the psychological level: mainly guilt. Guilt about things like the way the girl seems to want things outside of the family drama. Guilt about how to treat rivaling siblings when one is healthy yet that one is acting in a natural but selfish way. Not to mention the sense of transplant list 'lottery' and waiting.

<<<spoiler end>>

I do admit, there are a lot of risks in that one.

[artofsuntzu]

Hey Dudley, Nice Work!

You have a very touching and endearing story here. I loved the story.

I feel that there is some work to be done on the camera work. There are some very pretty shots and some not so pretty shots. But I am sure that you are aware of that.

Wonderful soundtrack. Sent chills down my spine at the end.

Really nice film. Nice story and a nice "twist."

Congrats!

-Ted

Ted, the Cinematography Award is not at risk here. :) Wow, there's some high-bar, gorgeous work in the fest!

Thank you so very much for all of your input.

I can't tell you how much I value people taking the time to watch and then to comment. I love the way some have enjoyed the story and how some have felt about the ending.

I enjoy that I was able to take some people on an emotional journey. But, I am anxious to weed-out my obvious deficiencies, too. So, thank you, again, for the reviews.

[Ted Arabian]

I enjoy that I was able to take some people on an emotional journey.
You did. I was really touched by your film.

[Chris Messineo]

Overall, this was very sweet.

However, as someone else mentioned I was surprised when I found out the boy was sick. Initially I thought the girl was mad at her brother over the death of her fish and her candle. I actually thought she was going to wish him away. I don't know if you meant for that kind of a twist, but I wanted to be honest about my first reaction while I was watching it.

[Gohanto]

I'm back and forth on this one. There are some parts I really enjoyed and others not so much. I LOVED the first shooting star, but then when more started coming I really didn't think much of it. Just took me out of it, but I can see where the idea came from, just didn't work for me personally. Music was GREAT. I did really like the star field opening (didn't even notice it was rotoscoped till 2nd viewing), but I noticed the sky is shown in the reflection of the window in the opening shot without stars. Would've been VERY hard to get that right, but something I noticed.

The fish picture on the fireplace was nice and the use of the helicopter was interesting as well.

The music at the end was great, but the fathers reaction was a bit cheesy for me. I think I would've rather seen him look at his cell phone, and collapse to his knees instead.

Great job.

Now one thing I'm very curious is how on earth did you get that overhead shot of the car door opening towards the end over the streetlight? Working with a super-crane?

[artofsuntzu]

Overall, this was very sweet.

However, as someone else mentioned I was surprised when I found out the boy was sick. Initially I thought the girl was mad at her brother over the death of her fish and her candle. I actually thought she was going to wish him away. I don't know if you meant for that kind of a twist, but I wanted to be honest about my first reaction while I was watching it.

Thank you so much for giving it a watch.

*** here's a quick analysis of the twist ***

Yup, the misdirection was entirely intentional. The setup only hints at her wishing about her fish. For example, the father makes the comment... but not her. For example, the book suggests pages about her fish... but we never see any concrete evidence about the fish.

It's not until Valentines that we actually see the pages... and the true wish for the brother's heart. Now, we can go back and see that clues about the brother were always there: coughing is constant, his picture is just as prominently displayed on the mantle as the fish picture, the pajamas are constant, the girl never mentions a wish for the fish.

You are entirely right to feel surprise at the 'twist'. I used the father as a proxy for the audience's assumptions. He even comments--around the same time that the audience is informed--that he doesn't know what the girl wants... he learns it isn't the fish at the Fish 'R Us.

The book goes on to show that the girl first understands her brother's mortality after learning about mortality through her fish's death.

That's why she looks crushed at every failed wish... because she knows there's a ticking timelock concerning her brother's need for a heart.

The reveal had to undo a lot of assumptions. The shock of the blood was an Overt Reveal to help focus the audience on the image on hand. For those who prefer a more Metaphoric Reveal, I also included the fact that there's a Heart given at Valentine's Day. EDIT: oh, and talking about metaphors, the fish was a Red Herring.

We spent some time trying to keep the clues consistent during repeat watches... in some way it's kind of like Fight Club meets ET.... in some way.

[artofsuntzu]

Now one thing I'm very curious is how on earth did you get that overhead shot of the car door opening towards the end over the streetlight? Working with a super-crane?

LOL. We found a location that matched the look of the parking lot. The location was under a bridge. I merely radioed the actors down below as I hung over the edge of the bridge with the camera. The coolest part about the shot is that it's somewhat motivated... as a reverse angle from the shooting star's pseudo-POV.

[Bryce A]

cute kids

[ilauzirika]

wow, great film.
I loved the ending, its so powerful.
The music is also great and flows with the images.

congratulations!

[artofsuntzu]

cute kids
Thank you. Even at their ages, they'll be happy to hear that. Luckily, they got their cuteness from their mother's genes.

Had they got their looks from my genes, I'd have had to do a lot of CGI work to take it out :)

[artofsuntzu]

wow, great film.
I loved the ending, its so powerful.
The music is also great and flows with the images.

congratulations!

Thanks so much for the nice review.

I'm glad that you enjoyed the ending. At times I wondered if I should add more exposition for the ending. But I'm very happy to hear that you enjoyed it as is.

Thanks.

[mentatDUKE]

SunTzu, this was a touching film. I like your child actors. They seemed pretty natural. I found it interesting that you used a few humor beats within a pretty serious story (The car door in the crotch). I didnt get that the brother died. I thought he got better at the end from the wish. Did I completely miss the boat on this? Kholi's statements lead me to believe I may have.

If he did die, I'm not sure I like that ending.

Good job making us care about the characters.

[artofsuntzu]

SunTzu, this was a touching film. I like your child actors. They seemed pretty natural. I found it interesting that you used a few humor beats within a pretty serious story

Thank you so much for getting into the little movie. I tried to interject humor so that the audience 1) has an appropriate time to release tension and laugh; and, 2) has a deeper emotional drop from the drama after experiencing an emotional high from any humor.


I thought he got better at the end from the wish. Did I completely miss the boat on this? Kholi's statements lead me to believe I may have.

Your interpretation was exactly how I intended to tell the story. He DOES get better at the end. The Text Message was my way of letting the audience know that a heart was found for the boy. I had a version of the film that would have had more exposition... but I've found that the current cut was enough for people to figured it out without additional dialogue.

I hope that the majority of people understood that the wish saved the boy. If the wish didn't save the boy, then that ending would have been too depressing for me, too.

EDIT: the boy had to live, anyway. My wife wouldn't have ALLOWED a depressing ending. :)

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

He DOES get better at the end. The Text Message was my way of letting the audience know that a heart was found for the boy. I had a version of the film that would have had more exposition... but I've found that the current cut was enough for people to figured it out without additional dialogue.

I hope that the majority of people understood that the wish saved the boy. If the wish didn't save the boy, then that ending would have been too depressing for me, too.

EDIT: the boy had to live, anyway. My wife wouldn't have ALLOWED a depressing ending. :)Yah, I thought the boy lived as well. The text he received made it pretty clear I thought.

Cheers,

[ilauzirika]

Thank you so much for getting into the little movie. I tried to interject humor so that the audience 1) has an appropriate time to release tension and laugh; and, 2) has a deeper emotional drop from the drama after experiencing an emotional high from any humor.




It really dropped me, I was really touched by this movie.

[Luis Caffesse]

Dudley - let me say that I have not read through this thread because I'm hoping to give you my impressions of the film without being colored by other's opinions.

First off - the story you have here is a very nice and touching one.
The kids did a wonderful job, and you're a braver man than I am for tackling something with children.

The work you did with the shooting stars was lovely - and the final 'beating' star really got me. Your lead's delivery on her final line was dead on - and I have to admit it got a bit of an emotional reaction out of me. Nicely done on that.

As for contructive critique - I would say that parts of this felt a bit too self conscious to me - I was very aware of the camera, not only because there was some shake in the dolly moves, but simply because some of the blocking and camera moves felt a bit forced (in my opinion anyhow). Some shots and blocking positions seemed to hold a bit unnaturally long - for example the shot of the mantle where we first see the 'Wish Book'... you then boom down to show the girl, she then reaches up and grabs the book and holds it so the camera can clearly see the cover (which we've already seen) and she stands there for a moment.... before running into the room. It these kinds of moments had been a bit more fluid I think the entire piece would move more naturally.

Again, the story is good and the contruction is good - the pacing and blocking just seems a bit off for my taste. When I am aware of the camera, I'm very conscious that I'm watching a film and it doesn't allow me to really get into the characters. I think part of the reason the moment at the end worked for me so well is because you were much more reserved with the direction - you let that final moment with the little girl play honestly and quietly, which is exactly what it needed.

Overall I would say that you need to think about what you're telling the audience.
Let us experience the story as it happens - try not to telegraph the next beat of the story to us before it occurs. For example, the Wish Book shot I mentioned above, as well as the father holding out the cell phone towards the end - I was watching the shot waiting for it to light up because it seemed obvious that was what was about to happen. This also goes for the dialogue/exposition of the piece. Personally I would have loved to have seen in the 'Wish Book' that her brother was sick... I didn't think you needed to go so far as to show us that she wished for a new heart for him - from that point on I knew exactly where the ending was going (though I didn't know she was going to jump out of the car). But my point is, the moment with the father outside of the Fish Store would have been a bit stronger for me if I didn't know what she had wished for. When he says "She doesn't want a fish, I don't know what she wants," I would have been right there with him... not knowing what she wants. Instead you kept the audience a step or two ahead all the time - which in my opinion didn't work as well.

Then again, these are all just opinions. I"m just trying to give you some things to think about. Great work in this piece overall and most importantly a wonderful story... I'm really looking forward to seeing what you do next.

By the way - the shot of the boy with the wish book really got me.
Creepy and scary, and very well done.

Alright - I thought I was done - but that just made me think of another example - that moment would have been much MORE dramatic to me if we weren't overhearing the mother's conversation in the background...because of that I was waiting for something.
Clearly you needed to put the heart info out there somehow - but I think you could have toned down the conversation a bit so that the moment of 'coughing' would have really taken us by surprise.

Okay, now I"m done.
:)

Great work.
I hope you find my commnts helpful and know they are all only intended to motivate you to hone the skills that you clearly have, and make the next piece even better than this.

Thanks for sharing this story with us.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Now that the Fest is winding down I'll mention why I thought this was going to be similar to a short I made a while back.

It had a little girl in it and a wish box.
Here's the breakdown.

Both the Mother and Daughter were murdered in the house shortly before Christmas. While Dad was on his way home with presents.

Fast forward to a year later. Dad can't come to grips with what has happened to his life. He's slipped into depression and is no longer working. One day he enters his daughters bedroom (virtually untouched since the incident) and sees the soft toy bunny on her bed that she always slept with. He sits on the bed holding it while trying to not breakdown.

He drops it on the floor.

When he bends down to get it he sees something sticking out from underneath the bed. He looks and finds 2 more bunnies exactly like it. He also finds a little wooden wish box that she had made.

Dad- "How did she get three of these things?"

He looks inside and finds the following wishes... and reads each one. All written on tiny scrolls of paper in crayon.

Her voice can be heard reciting each wish.

"I wish I had three bunnies!"
He looks dumbfounded at the three bunnies sitting on the bed staring blankly back at him.

"I wish Mommy didn't work so much."
Flashback to Dad on the phone getting a call from Mom.
Dad- "You were fired!??"

"I wish Daddy would stop smoking"
Flashback to Dad going to light up... and then almost getting violently ill from inhaling the smoke. He throws his pack of cigarettes in the garbage.

A few more pass.

He finds a blank scroll and a crayon in the bottom of the box.

The movie ends with Dad writing on the paper... "I wish..."


Anyway... it is very different but along the same lines.

I plan on re-shooting it some day since it was shot entirely by myself and I acted in it as well. Not so great.... :D

You did a great job with yours!!
As I have already mentioned in this thread.

Now you know why I was so curious about it. :)

[Ted Arabian]

Hey Dudley, I was just enjoying your film again.

This is really an ambitious project you took on! Working with kids (who did a GREAT JOB btw!!!) and the vfx you set forth to do.

Bottom line is that I really enjoy the story you are telling here. It is both misleading and rewarding. And the music that accompanies it is really wonderful.

I know that I already made some comments here but I wanted to add another. I would like to have seen the birthday candle flame blow about when the helicopter sound came into play. Just a close insert shot of this.

......

Just looked at my past review... I see that I wasn't very specific on comment about the camera work. So I feel like I should offer something more than my "overly simple" statement in the original review. (Pardon me if this has already been discussed.)

I see a lot of really wonderful shots coming from your camera. There are some great camera moves that totally feel motivated (something that I continue to try and get right!) and there is some lovely framing.

Some things that bothered me on the camera work was a few times I felt you linger too long on a frame (maybe because of working with children) and at times I felt that a shot looked overly posed. For instance, when the little girl gets the Wish book from the mantel. She takes it down and poses it there and I don't really know why. You had clearly established what it was and all she had to do was take it and go.

Anyway, I really did enjoy this film each time I've watched it. And I hope that you continue to bring your work to the dvxuser fests!

Well done!

-Ted

btw, that is a GREAT shot from overhead of the car. Love that!

[artofsuntzu]

As for contructive critique ... I hope you find my commnts helpful and know they are all only intended to motivate you


Awesome points, Luis. They do motivate. Technical feedback (dolly, etc.) acts as a good reminder of things already noticed by me... and interpretive feedback is a great way for me to see if I should've chosen option A over option B.



for example the shot of the mantle where we first see the 'Wish Book'... you then boom down to show the girl, she then reaches up and grabs the book and holds it so the camera can clearly see the cover (which we've already seen) and she stands there for a moment...

... and some options were not choices at all. :) Yeah, I totally felt the same way as you on parts like this. It's funny, although some lingering shots (at the end) are intentional some others (like the mantle) were actually the fastest we could get the 5 year old to move, react and run past marks without torturing her with take after take.


- I would say that parts of this felt a bit too self conscious to me ... Some shots and blocking positions seemed to hold a bit unnaturally long - .

But, I know the point you're getting across about telegraphed blocking. I watch a lot of what Spielberg does with camera-blocking, staging and extended shots. A lot of times I try to emulate his approach and risk being too obvious. Why do I try his methods? I find that sometimes it has a way of reaching your emotions even though it can appear obvious to a filmmaker's mind.


I have to admit it got a bit of an emotional reaction out of me.This is kind of what I meant with my previous paragraph.


But let's get to the cool part: creative differences.


But my point is, the moment with the father outside of the Fish Store would have been a bit stronger for me if I didn't know what she had wished for. When he says "She doesn't want a fish, I don't know what she wants," I would have been right there with him... not knowing what she wants.
I could have put the book-reveal after the fish store. After all, I wanted the Father to be a proxy for some of the audiences emotions. But, I didn't want to have the audience see the entire story from his POV. I wanted to re-establish(especially at this crucial time in the story) the POV squarely with the girl. By having the same information as the girl, you can feel impatient with the Father... just like the girl's POV would have you feel about the Father's cluelessness. Now, you're free to enjoy her emotions more at the end because our POV is reslanted towards the girl. I needed the audience to move AWAY from being "right there with him" so that we can be closer to the girl during the 3rd act.

Anyway, I got a lot of insight from your (and everyone else's) comments.

[Luis Caffesse]

I needed the audience to move AWAY from being "right there with him" so that we can be closer to the girl during the 3rd act.

I can absolutely see your point.
That is something I had not considered.

I'm glad you found my comments useful - and I'm glad to see you're confident enough in your work to tell me where I'm offbase.
:thumbsup:

[artofsuntzu]

Anyway... it is very different but along the same lines.

I plan on re-shooting it some day since it was shot entirely by myself and I acted in it as well. Not so great.... :D

You did a great job with yours!!
As I have already mentioned in this thread.

Now you know why I was so curious about it. :)

That's a cool story. I kind of got a sense that we had similar thematic moods when you first wrote.

Is there a way to view the short online somewhere?

Hey, did you notice that some threads brought up the issue of why there were so many unhappy shorts in a festival based on Love? What would they think of our take on shorts about kids: murder (yours), depression (yours), illness (mine) :)

[artofsuntzu]

I can absolutely see your point.
That is something I had not considered.

I'm glad you found my comments useful - and I'm glad to see you're confident enough in your work to tell me where I'm offbase.
:thumbsup:

Dude, I've seen your short a few times... I could never accuse you of being offbase when it comes to storytelling. It's fun when a comment touches upon a point that was actually given consideration. Thanks for the added comment.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

That's a cool story. I kind of got a sense that we had similar thematic moods when you first wrote.

Is there a way to view the short online somewhere?

Hey, did you notice that some threads brought up the issue of why there were so many unhappy shorts in a festival based on Love? What would they think of our take on shorts about kids: murder (yours), depression (yours), illness (mine) :)
LOL! Love comes in many various forms. At least they both ended well. :)

This is why I was so interested in yours. You did a really good job of drawing me into the story and I liked it quite a bit.

As for mine... I would have to see if I can find it. It was also shot on a crappy old camcorder with no mic so the quality sucks. :laugh:

[artofsuntzu]

Hey Dudley, I was just enjoying your film again.

Some things that bothered me on the camera work was a few times I felt you linger too long on a frame (maybe because of working with children) and at times I felt that a shot looked overly posed. For instance, when the little girl gets the Wish book from the mantel. She takes it down and poses it there and I don't really know why.

Ted, I enjoyed rewatching your short as well.

As for some of my lingering shots. Yeah, I just posted a reply to Luis who touched on the same valid point. In summary, the mantel shot was the fastest we could get the girl to perform all that complex staging in a single shot. (not to use her as an excuse because I was just as stubborn for trying to keep this sequence as a single shot in the first place :) )

My reply to Luis did cover some of the other lingering shots that were entirely conscious choices. Basically, it has to do with me loving how Spielberg will setup, block and linger in order to get a point across. Although some of the shots seem obvious to the mind, I'm finding that it sometimes reach an emotional space at the same time.

But, I'm open to toning it down a bit. I'm going to pre-screen this aspect with others on future projects. (or maybe that's what the DVXfests are for anyway?)

Ted, I am honoured that you took the extra time here.

And thank you for enjoying some of my other camera setups.

I have a quick question. You've noticed that I keep my shots motivated. (even the overhead car shot is somewhat motivated by a reverse angle to the shooting star). But I am curious. Out there in the industry, right now, are 'motivated shots' a four-letter word? Not that it would influence me much... but I was wondering if the big guns think it's a little uncool right now?

[Ted Arabian]

... But I am curious. Out there in the industry, right now, are 'motivated shots' a four-letter word?
Hey Dudley, I wish that I could answer this for you. It would certainly help me to know as well! LOL!

I am so new in this field of filmmaking. I often try to shoot what feels right to me. And often I find that it backfires! I seem to get questioned on how I use the camera.

So I really don't know.

But your shot of taking us into the house felt right and it looked great.

Your shot of following the little girl from the mantel to the birthday cake room felt right (though, as I have stated and also read from Luis, the execution was forced at times during it).

I love the tilting down through the page of the Wish Book, but I think that you should have used a continuous speed scroll rather than popping down to the "reveal" of the wish.

And then there is the shot of dollying in on the little girl at the Christmas tree. I feel that this move is probably frowned upon as unnecessary or "wrong" but I like it. I love getting closer to the subject and feel that it is a right time to do it. However, the camera move is full of stumbles and really should have been cut or replaced with a simple static shot.

So... I really don't know. I obviously didn't go to film school and have never read a book on how to make a film. I just use a vision that is in my head and try to tell a story. (The storytelling skill is something that I long to conquer! There are some great storytellers here at dvxuser and I really try to absorb some of their qualities and execute them in mine. Not copy them, just follow their example.)

I think that you have a lot of wonderful films in you and I can't wait to see what you do next.

best,

Ted

[artofsuntzu]

Woo whoo. Just wrapping-up a drunkin' Oscars party... who pwns the pool?

Anyway, I thought I'd share one of the DVD Special Features being made available to the crew of Wish whom I am deeply indebted to.

This is a full 3d animatic for Wish that was created during pre-viz. It was one version of the Vegas Timeline that involved a longer exposition ending.

I know. I'm a bit of a geek when it comes to pre-viz.

But, it did help keep everyone on the same page. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy how it compares to the live-action footage. Plus, in response to valid comments about dolly-work, I am officially offering the link under a new production name. :)

Wobbly Dolly Productions presents:

http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/3595/wobbly00010120comp1copyns7.jpg (http://www.coolshortfilms.com/work1/wish.html)

http://www.coolshortfilms.com/work1/wish.html

[Brian Parker]

Very sweet film. Touching story. Cute kids. Only problem is that the pacing in some parts was a little slow but other than that it was a well made film. Good job.

[artofsuntzu]

Very sweet film. Touching story. Cute kids. Only problem is that the pacing in some parts was a little slow but other than that it was a well made film. Good job.
Thank you so much for the comments. I know it can be a bit of a commitment getting through a list of 50 shorts. So thanks, again, for making the effort to add a comment. I really respect that. And I am looking forward to improving the next short based on all the feedback.

[tmnt]

The little girl was greatm what a find and good to see a story with a little heart. Should have went just a little wider in the shot where the father has the cell ring as it looks like maybe you said "higher, higher... hold it there - action!".

I reckon you could revisit the CC and possibly work on the timing a bit and you'll have a winner.