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George_Bailey
10-10-2007, 12:38 PM
I guess we're supposed to put a new thread up to enter.

This is mine but I haven't videoed anything yet

George_Bailey
10-10-2007, 12:39 PM
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/30249/1193418207.jpg

George_Bailey
10-10-2007, 12:40 PM
Im gonna put more cool stuff here to

Jason Ramsey
10-10-2007, 12:40 PM
Welcome to the fest, man. Good luck.

Late,r
Jason

Joops
10-10-2007, 12:41 PM
Good luck with production!!

Marlon Ladd
10-10-2007, 12:43 PM
Yep, this is for your sort of intro. to your film. Don't worry, I haven't filmed anything yet either. I plan on getting started this weekend though and taking some pics too.

Good luck and welcome to the party!

George_Bailey
10-10-2007, 12:45 PM
Thanks!!! I dont know if it will be good but Im gonna maybe shoot it this weekend. Need to get some firweworks and stuff

Late,r
George

Brandon Rice
10-10-2007, 12:49 PM
Good luck and welcome to the party!


hehehe....

Anyway, yeah... welcome to the fest :) :beer:

Charli
10-10-2007, 01:39 PM
Promises, promises. I'll believe it when you film it.

Brandon Rice
10-10-2007, 01:57 PM
Promises, promises. I'll believe it when you film it.

Wow... uh... not exactly encouraging....

DarkMatter
10-10-2007, 02:42 PM
Good luck on the shoot, I will check back.

Charli
10-10-2007, 04:10 PM
Brandon - it's a personal, inside joke, is all. I'm actually looking forward to this one. I hope it's scary.

George_Bailey
10-10-2007, 04:59 PM
Brandon - it's a personal, inside joke, is all. I'm actually looking forward to this one. I hope it's scary.

Awesome thanks man.

Tryin to get my head rapped around shooting 'dark stuff'. I really wanna use fireworks too but I wanna use them inside in a dark room to get some awesome effects. But the firweorks may be too brite so that might screw me on the dark requirement

Anyway any suggestions would be great on how to do one of these.

DimmuJed
10-10-2007, 08:06 PM
hmmm... fireworks...inside....in a dark room....does this bring to mind the "Great White" incident for anyone else?

George_Bailey
10-10-2007, 11:54 PM
Yeah I know. I think my buddies and me are gonna be pretty careful for that. Figured maybe I'd staple foil around the walls and put boards down on the floor. That could cost a lot and leave a lotta marks in the paint. Dunno - need the fireworks first so it totally depends on what we can get. Would be cool if we could do it.

Just need a story to go with it now. Working on that instead of doing the other shit I have to do!

tmnt
10-11-2007, 09:51 PM
Fireworks aren't dangerous, just get the grips to hold them.

Justin Kuhn
10-14-2007, 12:23 PM
Hope your production goes well. Don't blow off any fingers.

George_Bailey
10-15-2007, 11:57 AM
Tried the shoot this weekend. We strapped some roman candles together and it looked way cool when they went off. Didnt work too well cause we didnt figur on the amount of smoke firweorks make in a small room. Parents just about crapped themselves!! LOL! but Im kinda grounded until I get the smoke smell out of the room. And there's some burn marks on the ceiling from when the shooting balls hit the roof. Camera is ok though. still plan on entering something. Maybe some more fireworks but leaving the window open. Parents will have to be away too. LOL!!!

Charli
10-15-2007, 07:42 PM
Yeah, I could have told you about the smoke, not that I would know by personal experience or anything. Come on, George, toss some behind the scene shots up in here. At least show us the smoke damage! lol

Mark Johnson
10-15-2007, 08:08 PM
Hey Charli, how are you? Nice to run across you on this thread.

George, I am splitting a gut from your posts. You definitely made my night and I'd have given anything to see your parents' expression. Yeah, you simply gotta send a pic of the "burn marks on the ceiling from when the shooting balls hit the roof" .... LMAO!!!!!!!

George_Bailey
10-15-2007, 08:31 PM
Yeah, I could have told you about the smoke, not that I would know by personal experience or anything. Come on, George, toss some behind the scene shots up in here. At least show us the smoke damage! lol
Thanks man.

Yeah- -it was awesome cool at first. Parental units still kinda pissed about it. At least the fire trucks didn't come this time but MAN it still stinks! Good thing my room is upstairs.

I took a pic on my camera phone (my buddy took back his camera for now). How do I post that - tried cutting and pasting but it dont work.

George_Bailey
10-20-2007, 09:09 AM
Bummed.

Wanted to shoot more firworks this weekend but have bin ordered not to by parents. Even offered just to do road flares-no more roman candles-but they didnt go fer that.

Stupid.

Changin the whole film idea then. Not sure what/if Ill film anything now.

Charli
10-21-2007, 08:14 PM
George - that's a bummer. Let me know if you need any help revising a script. I'm sure I can help you whip up something without fireworks - lol. By the way, thanks for the favor. You really do know your stuff, that's for sure. Hope it works out for you.

George_Bailey
10-23-2007, 04:04 PM
So still trying to get something in. Ill try filming something tomorrow night.

Trying to do something dark but whatever I try just cant be seen on the screen. Keeps coming out all black.

Feelin the pressure now big time. Still pissed about no fireworks. But at least not grounded any more. Explained about the contest on dvxuser so parents had a look at the entry stuff and were pissed untill they saw that there was no requirment for fireworks. Then they groiunded me again but lifted it a cuple of days later. Room still smells of smoke tho LOL.

(and Charli if I ever get to Cali maybe I can stay with you? Sorry I didnt realize you were a girl earlier cause you write just like a guy - and Im not dissin ya coz I mean that in a cool way)

George_Bailey
10-23-2007, 04:07 PM
And I figurd out the picture thing. Here's a pic of the room from my camera phone. sorry its so crappy

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/30249/1193177098.jpg

Brandon Rice
10-23-2007, 04:26 PM
Dang George... fireworks. LOL! awesome, hehe

George_Bailey
10-25-2007, 03:31 PM
Dang George... fireworks. LOL! awesome, hehe
Hey Brendon. Sorry-no fireworks. Tried but got banned by my parents for it.

Just finisjed a short tho and just uploaded it. Hope you like it. It's kinda autobiographical.

I promise to do something with fireworks next time.

Charli
10-26-2007, 11:17 AM
George - no worries on not knowing I'm a girl and as for writing like a guy, talk about sexist, but I'm not going to give you a hard time because, well, it's true, I write like a tomboy, ya know, man? Cool that you put pics up. You might want to work on the clarity a bit more. Yeah, I live in Cali and you're welcomed to drop by anytime, just like any other dvxuser. Love meeting all of you guys.

George_Bailey
10-26-2007, 11:54 AM
Hey Charli. Don't sweat the sexist thing - I think it's cool that girls write. Really.

As for the pic, I put one up that I didn't use in my footage. And my movie is uploaded now so I'm kickin back and going out to buy some fireworks for Halloween.

George_Bailey
10-30-2007, 12:36 PM
Just to do a little ass-protecting here, it has been suggested by a couple of adults that I showed my entry to that it is not for kids.

So, when the entries are released and if you're thinking of looking at them and want to gather your kids around the old monitor, maybe you should skip mine until it's after their ... Bedtime ...

Just a suggestion ...

(and are they making the fireworks hotter this year? I picked up some new ones and almost burned my freaking lips off last night)

Mark Johnson
10-30-2007, 12:53 PM
So, when the entries are released and if you're thinking of looking at them and want to gather your kids around the old monitor, maybe you should skip mine until it's after their ... Bedtime ...

Didn't we go through this last year when somebody (was it MM?) complained mildly about having some wee ones at the monitor during a disturbing scene? If I remember correctly, the consensus was that you'd be nuts and close to presumed liable if you exposed any tender minds to the stuff typically screened in the festivals (we do have an R rating by the way).

So bring on the gore, penis-eating urinals and what have you. We got our popcorn ready.

Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-30-2007, 12:58 PM
So bring on the gore, penis-eating urinals and what have you.Who told!!?

StefanHaynes
10-30-2007, 02:11 PM
I actually liked this one. That rarely happens.

Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-31-2007, 07:15 AM
I liked this one, but the lighting just didn't come close to matching between the little girl and the storyteller and that really took me out of it.

Still, it was pretty creepy. A few more shots, some additional reactions from the little girl, and this could have been great!

I know how tough it must be working with kids though.

Very well done!

Cheers,

Mike

George_Bailey
10-31-2007, 11:41 AM
I actually liked this one. That rarely happens.

Thanks dude. Glad you liked it. See - even 15-year-olds can sometimes surprise.


I liked this one, but the lighting just didn't come close to matching between the little girl and the storyteller and that really took me out of it.

Still, it was pretty creepy. A few more shots, some additional reactions from the little girl, and this could have been great!

I know how tough it must be working with kids though.

Very well done!

Cheers,

Mike

Mike, that's a thoughful comment - thanks. The lighting thing was intentional. Soft with color glow (almost pink) on the little girl while harsh and cold on the storyteller. That was (meant to be) established by the glow of the lamp to the right of the bed in the establishing shot - and that lamp intentionally was very far away from the storyteller. Actually, in one shot (and it may have been lost in the down-res) you can see the far away glow from the table lamp in the eye of the storyteller.

Whenever adults were in the room - the lighting was meant to be harsh. When it was just the little girl in the shot, it was meant to be soft.

I had some real problems on the shots of the little girl. She was amazing and I got TONS of great shots of her. But little girls move around a lot (especially when pretending to be in bed in the middle of the afternoon) and even coming close to matching meant I had limited shots of her to choose from.

Appreciate the fine comments, dude. Now I better get down to watching the entries!

And it Halloween - so it'll soon be time to light up those bundled roman candles! YA!

Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-31-2007, 11:43 AM
I had some real problems on the shots of the little girl. She was amazing and I got TONS of great shots of her. But little girls move around a lot (especially when pretending to be in bed in the middle of the afternoon) and even coming close to matching meant I had limited shots of her to choose from.
I have a 4 year old daughter... the only time she stops moving is when she is asleep.

I hear you. :)

Cheers,

Mike

Charli
10-31-2007, 04:51 PM
YOU FREAK! Oh dear Lord, what a freakin' ending to this one, George. I knew you could do it!

jvi97
10-31-2007, 06:37 PM
dark, very dark...loved it. the ending rocked!

-Jeff
http://www.dvxfest.com/allhallowsfes...r.php?id=20480

mentatDUKE
11-01-2007, 05:50 PM
This was really enjoyable. That monologue was amazing. The storyteller really sold everything he was saying. Usually horror is physically abusive. You dont often see verbalyl abusive horror. Makling the victim a child totally opens the door for that. Good job. :)

DarkMatter
11-01-2007, 10:08 PM
First of all I would like to say that the end of this film was one of the best very creepy!What took me away from getting drawn in was the shots of of the little girl needed to be darker and fit the lighting of the man, It looked more like the little girl was watching cartoons on t.v. than actually being in the room with the dad. It was a great Idea, and I would like to see the little girls parts redone with accurate lighting, shadows, and maybe a little more coaching, cause I think you've got something scary here that just needs a little more finesssing!

George_Bailey
11-01-2007, 11:26 PM
Sorry - I haven't been responding to those who took the time to comment on my short because I've been trying to see all the films and get my comments posted on those before getting back to my own thread. I kinda take the view that commenting on one's own thread before commenting on other's films could be perceived as self-indulgent and borderline rude (something about testing the social contract springs to mind - forgive me, Mr. Hobbes).

So, to briefly venture into the world of self-indulgence and borderline rudeness ...


YOU FREAK! Oh dear Lord, what a freakin' ending to this one, George. I knew you could do it!

Yes, Charli. I am a freak. But thanks for that. From you that's a compliment!


dark, very dark...loved it. the ending rocked!

-Jeff
http://www.dvxfest.com/allhallowsfes...r.php?id=20480

Thanks, Jeff. Glad you liked it.


This was really enjoyable. That monologue was amazing. The storyteller really sold everything he was saying. Usually horror is physically abusive. You dont often see verbalyl abusive horror. Makling the victim a child totally opens the door for that. Good job. :)

It was a formula. What is scarier than real things that really happen? Over which you have no control. And what's scarier than knowing they're happening to a beautiful, innocent little girl? Whose two "protectors" are, in fact, her worst enemies. Cerebral horror is, I find, far more intense, interesting and horrifying than chainsaws ... and grants a greater range to explore.


First of all I would like to say that the end of this film was one of the best very creepy!What took me away from getting drawn in was the shots of of the little girl needed to be darker and fit the lighting of the man, It looked more like the little girl was watching cartoons on t.v. than actually being in the room with the dad. It was a great Idea, and I would like to see the little girls parts redone with accurate lighting, shadows, and maybe a little more coaching, cause I think you've got something scary here that just needs a little more finesssing!

Thanks man. Glad you liked the ending. "Creepy" was exactly the term I was looking to fulfil. Too bad it appears my idea for the lighting (see explanation in earlier post) doesn't appear to satisfy. It's interesting that we lit the whole room and didn't really change it around much for the little girl's shots vs. the storyteller's shots. In the HD version, you see more of the orange glow to the left of the storyteller in his wide shots than you do in the down-ressed version, but obviously the contrast was just too distracting. Thanks for your thoughts.

I really appreciate the feedback. Now back to viewing the other films ...

Ben Sliker
11-02-2007, 11:43 AM
George ...

dude ... this film is f-ed up. wrong on a lot of levels ... which for this contest, is awesome!

The only real thing that set me back was the last line. I loved the whole dichotomy between when the lights are on, things are nice, and when they're off, things get dark and disturbing. To have that thrown in at the end seemed a little gimmicky, i think it would have been far more creepy to keep the woman out of it. just my 2 cents.

Nicely written and performed. Keep it up!

cinealma
11-02-2007, 02:01 PM
REVIEW:
That's just SO wrong. :evil: I liked this one a lot. The lighting or whatever didn't really bug me because I was engaged in the guy's monologue so much I was just waiting to see what he was going to say next and then what the little girl's reaction would be.

For me, I was waiting for some gargantuan punchline. Because this seemed so SNL to me for some reason. Maybe I'm a little f*cked up in the head or something, but I was dying on the floor laughing watching this. So I was a little let down with the ending, but not because it was bad, I was just expecting something else entirely.

FILMMAKER-TO-FILMMAKER:
Like I said, I was so engaged in dialogue and the characters, you could have shot this thing with a security camera and I wouldn't have noticed/cared. Great writing. Loved it. :thumbsup::thumbsup:

limeyx
11-02-2007, 03:47 PM
I have to say that I find this movie is sick and disgusting !!!


Definitely my favorite one of the fest :)

Justin Kuhn
11-03-2007, 12:58 AM
This was really one of the creepier entries in the fest. A nit-pick or two--while the lighting on the "storyteller" was excellent, the little girl's close-up didn't match at all. I get that maybe you didn't shoot his dialogue and her reaction at the same time, so you didn't have to actually have her listen to that--but her shot was kind if milky and washed-out, and could have used his shadow on her like somebody said earlier. Also crediting the guy as "storyteller" kind of confused me, since I figured when the mom came in and didn't react to his presence that he was the dad. I guess he was, but the credit confused the issue. Last thing and really the most important, I kind of agree with hybrid that the film suffers from the twist ending. I was disappointed when her mom was aware and condoning the abuse. That's shocking and all, but it's a bit less believable than Dad psychologically abusing the girl behind Mom's back and therefore not quite as horrorifying.

Sorry if I come off as harsh. Just remember that it shows I care. :D Good work!

PS: Where were the fireworks supposed to fit in here??

Billy Pilgrim
11-03-2007, 01:24 AM
I loved this entry. So wrong, yet so funny.

Marlon Ladd
11-03-2007, 09:42 AM
I agree with the things Happy said. The lighting was different on the two subjects, but maybe that's what you intended. I didn't understand who the guy was exactly and I too was thinking he was the dad. Having said that, I thought the writing was good and unique, and the acting was decent. Very original though, making something we all as people go through (and seem to ignore and not talk about too much), frightening and real. That girl's gonna' grow up with some issues! LOL.

J.R. Hudson
11-03-2007, 11:35 AM
Yaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnn

I got the darkness and the last line was really morbid but in the end I was just yawning. Nothing jumped out that made me applaud. It could have been creepier maybe using something concpetual during the monologue.

I don't know.

Blaine
11-03-2007, 12:48 PM
The guy sounded like he was reading from a piece of paper. Something that bothered me was the "surprise" of the storyteller being in the room. When she was first put to bed, the room was clearly lit and he should have been seen.

Maximus
11-04-2007, 07:33 AM
Dude, I like your film alot! Very good writing, I thought the actor did a great job - had my attention throughout. Good suspense as I wondered where this was leading - I worried for that cute little girl! :cry: Nice twist at the end. Succesful on many levels.

The not so good. Technically I felt it was weak. Your choice of compositions didn't work as good as they could have. It was so dark! Nothing wrong with dark, but you gotta have some light too. A production designer would have helped.

Hey, I'm noticing a trend! Some of the films with the best stories are weakest technically, and vice versa. Hmmm?!

Anyway, good job! I look forward to your next film.

George_Bailey
11-05-2007, 10:49 AM
A few thoughts on previously posted comments ...


George ...

dude ... this film is f-ed up. wrong on a lot of levels ... which for this contest, is awesome!

The only real thing that set me back was the last line. I loved the whole dichotomy between when the lights are on, things are nice, and when they're off, things get dark and disturbing. To have that thrown in at the end seemed a little gimmicky, i think it would have been far more creepy to keep the woman out of it. just my 2 cents.

Nicely written and performed. Keep it up!

Thanks for your thoughts. Interesting that you didn't like the last line. I agree with your view that it could come off as a little gimmicky. Again, the formula was arrived at before the first line was written. The intention was to provide some relief that the little girl was going to be "saved" by Mom, but then Mom turned out to be just as twisted (hence the twist to the storyline). Your comment is very valid. Thanks for taking the time to watch and comment.


REVIEW:
That's just SO wrong. :evil: I liked this one a lot. The lighting or whatever didn't really bug me because I was engaged in the guy's monologue so much I was just waiting to see what he was going to say next and then what the little girl's reaction would be.

For me, I was waiting for some gargantuan punchline. Because this seemed so SNL to me for some reason. Maybe I'm a little f*cked up in the head or something, but I was dying on the floor laughing watching this. So I was a little let down with the ending, but not because it was bad, I was just expecting something else entirely.

FILMMAKER-TO-FILMMAKER:
Like I said, I was so engaged in dialogue and the characters, you could have shot this thing with a security camera and I wouldn't have noticed/cared. Great writing. Loved it. :thumbsup::thumbsup:

This is very high praise coming from someone whose work I really respect. The first one to say that he laughed while watching it - and funny, because that was the intention, too (think the UK version of "The Office" where the scenes are just so damned uncomfortable that you start laughing despite your discomfort). And as for the ending - giving something unexpected (rather than expected) was part of the goal. But I am sorry you felt let down by it - that wasn't the goal.

As for your last comment, I'm going to frame it and hang it on my wall. But ... just how did you know that we shot this on a security camera?


I have to say that I find this movie is sick and disgusting !!!

Definitely my favorite one of the fest :)

Cool. But I'm a little dismayed that you only have three posts and therefore can't vote! But thanks!


This was really one of the creepier entries in the fest. A nit-pick or two--while the lighting on the "storyteller" was excellent, the little girl's close-up didn't match at all. I get that maybe you didn't shoot his dialogue and her reaction at the same time, so you didn't have to actually have her listen to that--but her shot was kind if milky and washed-out, and could have used his shadow on her like somebody said earlier. Also crediting the guy as "storyteller" kind of confused me, since I figured when the mom came in and didn't react to his presence that he was the dad. I guess he was, but the credit confused the issue. Last thing and really the most important, I kind of agree with hybrid that the film suffers from the twist ending. I was disappointed when her mom was aware and condoning the abuse. That's shocking and all, but it's a bit less believable than Dad psychologically abusing the girl behind Mom's back and therefore not quite as horrorifying.

Sorry if I come off as harsh. Just remember that it shows I care. :D Good work!

PS: Where were the fireworks supposed to fit in here??

Thanks very much for the insightful comments. Given that you're not the only one suggesting some concern about the ending suggests that you're on to something here. As for the "Storyteller" credit, that's the way it was in the script. Maybe it was her Dad, or the Mom's boyfriend, or the babysitter Mom uses while entertaining in the other part of the house. But I was thinking "Dad" when I wrote it.

And good, thoughtful criticism is never harsh, so we're all good here. Thanks very much for the comments.

As for fireworks? Er ... what fireworks?


I loved this entry. So wrong, yet so funny.

Thanks for watching and commenting. Glad you liked it.


I agree with the things Happy said. The lighting was different on the two subjects, but maybe that's what you intended. I didn't understand who the guy was exactly and I too was thinking he was the dad. Having said that, I thought the writing was good and unique, and the acting was decent. Very original though, making something we all as people go through (and seem to ignore and not talk about too much), frightening and real. That girl's gonna' grow up with some issues! LOL.

Thanks for your view and comment. Being original is a goal, and your perception that it was is gratifying.

And yeah - the poor little girl is kinda screwed up after this shoot. She hasn't slept in weeks. But her sacrifice is appreciated and was worth it for the art of filmmaking.

Cheers!


Yaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnn

I got the darkness and the last line was really morbid but in the end I was just yawning. Nothing jumped out that made me applaud. It could have been creepier maybe using something concpetual during the monologue.

I don't know.

LOL. Classic. I really wanted to add some laugh tracks and cartoons, but I was outvoted. Sorry. Maybe next time.


The guy sounded like he was reading from a piece of paper. Something that bothered me was the "surprise" of the storyteller being in the room. When she was first put to bed, the room was clearly lit and he should have been seen.

Thanks for viewing and commenting. Regarding the "surprise" of the guy being in the room, the surprise was intended to be only the audience's surprise. Look closely - when the little girl is brought in she looks in the direction of where the storyteller is - and smiles. He's already sitting there - although we don't show it and therefore the audience doesn't know it. The back story is that this happens every night - she expects it. He's sitting there waiting for her and she's ready to be horrrified by tonight's story. Dovetail that with Mom coming back in and asking her if she's all right- and she looks up at her - and NODS! In short, the little girl represents our innate love to be scared (OH GOD! I'm giving it all away).

And yeah - I think the actor was reading from several pieces of paper.


Dude, I like your film alot! Very good writing, I thought the actor did a great job - had my attention throughout. Good suspense as I wondered where this was leading - I worried for that cute little girl! :cry: Nice twist at the end. Succesful on many levels.

The not so good. Technically I felt it was weak. Your choice of compositions didn't work as good as they could have. It was so dark! Nothing wrong with dark, but you gotta have some light too. A production designer would have helped.

Hey, I'm noticing a trend! Some of the films with the best stories are weakest technically, and vice versa. Hmmm?!

Anyway, good job! I look forward to your next film.

Thanks for watching and commenting. Valuable comments. If you worried for the cute little girl, our job was done. And I hear you on the technical aspects. As I posted early on, we actually wanted to go darker, but then all we ended up with was a black frame. Simple, but boring.

Regarding the trend of this festival, I think that's a very very valid comment and I wholeheartedly agree with it.

And just to clarify before the children's protection police are called - the little girl never heard a single line of dialogue except for the very last line (which her Mom assured me she would be OK with - and she was). And she won't see the video until she's much, much older.

Thanks to you all for viewing and for your really good comments. Now back to watching more entries.

Darkline
11-05-2007, 10:55 AM
Lots of fun!

I thought it was REALLY funny. Simple idea and I was giggling through most of it.

I'd put this in my top 5.

Darkline
11-05-2007, 10:58 AM
wait a minute, you didnt actually have the girl in the bed on set whie the man delivered his lines did you? if so then its even funnier....lol (only joking, before I'm flamed)

I'm glad some films are taking a completely different take on the theme of the festival. One of the most original here.

if you would like any critical feedback at all I'd say maybe the figure could have looked completely sihoutetted. To make the reveal of a mere man/father in her bedroom more effective when the lights come on. Overall though I think it was the most entertaining for me.

sean90291
11-05-2007, 11:31 AM
**CONTAINS SPOILERS.** Cool concept. Nice reversal at the end. You have something that could be really entertaining, but the direction was flat. Where was the inspiration in your production design or choice of shots? The "man" could have been in total silhouette, creating a creepier "monster" at the end of the bed, until the lights go on revealing the dad. The little girls' reactions which you insisted on editing into the piece took me out of the story every single time. The concept behind it is really quite interesting. Some of the topics addressed are worth talking about, and with some trimming of the long-winded monologue you have a script worth making. But you need to add some directorial vision to sell it to the audience and live up to the promise of your ideas.

andoguru
11-07-2007, 07:11 PM
Hey George

AGENT SMITH is a father! You lead actor sounds just like Hugo Weaving and that is fricking awesome.

The short was very creepy...a father telling his daughter about all the bad things in the world that could happen too her, but I never got a sense about why he was telling this stuff to her. Is it to warn her about these things or just to scare her? It was creepy when the mom came back in and delivered her line.

All the shots of the dad looked very good, but the rest of the shots were pretty plain and some of the framing was off a little like the first shot of the film. There could have been a little more set dressing to...the big blue wall with nothing but the small comic strip looks weird. Good job especially being creepy.

Laters,
Ando

George_Bailey
11-10-2007, 10:23 AM
Lots of fun!

I thought it was REALLY funny. Simple idea and I was giggling through most of it.

I'd put this in my top 5.

Glad you enjoyed it. Your enjoyment is more important to me than any "placing" in this fest because I prefer to have the work stand on its own. But very pleased that you found it enjoyable.


... I'm glad some films are taking a completely different take on the theme of the festival. One of the most original here.

if you would like any critical feedback at all I'd say maybe the figure could have looked completely sihoutetted. To make the reveal of a mere man/father in her bedroom more effective when the lights come on. Overall though I think it was the most entertaining for me.

Where can I send the cash? Thanks - original is what I really strive for - even if the end result misses the mark just a little as a result (because f you're entirely successful in any new venture, you really haven't stretched yourself or learned anything new) - because rehashing old stories is just ... rehashing old stories. I'm just pleased you enjoyed it and took the time to comment. Thanks.


**CONTAINS SPOILERS.** Cool concept. Nice reversal at the end. You have something that could be really entertaining, but the direction was flat. Where was the inspiration in your production design or choice of shots? The "man" could have been in total silhouette, creating a creepier "monster" at the end of the bed, until the lights go on revealing the dad. The little girls' reactions which you insisted on editing into the piece took me out of the story every single time. The concept behind it is really quite interesting. Some of the topics addressed are worth talking about, and with some trimming of the long-winded monologue you have a script worth making. But you need to add some directorial vision to sell it to the audience and live up to the promise of your ideas.

Very thoughtful comments. Thanks very much. I think we need the little girl's reaction shots because otherwise the thing gets bogged down with sticking to bobblehead Dad's monologue. And the story is really about the little girl - how do we keep her in the minds of the audience if we don't show her? My guess would be that what took you out of the piece was the difference in coloration between the two shots (previously commented on) - an intentional stylistic technique which I didn't pull off.


Hey George

AGENT SMITH is a father! You lead actor sounds just like Hugo Weaving and that is fricking awesome.

The short was very creepy...a father telling his daughter about all the bad things in the world that could happen too her, but I never got a sense about why he was telling this stuff to her. Is it to warn her about these things or just to scare her? It was creepy when the mom came back in and delivered her line.

All the shots of the dad looked very good, but the rest of the shots were pretty plain and some of the framing was off a little like the first shot of the film. There could have been a little more set dressing to...the big blue wall with nothing but the small comic strip looks weird. Good job especially being creepy.

Laters,
Ando

I agree with the criticisms. We could have done better with some framing and as for the set dec - I didn't really even think about the set dec until your comment, so you've really hit on something valid for which I thank you.

Interesting how some people really like the monologue and the voice and others don't. Can both views be valid? I guess so. Because clearly not everyone likes the same movies (I saw a posted review of Lawrence of Arabia on Flixster the other day where the person was commenting about how boring and stupid a movie it was - lol - you don't need to be licensed to watch and have an opinion on a movie).

As for the story (and here's where I give it all away), it can be taken two ways:

1. It's a simple, straightforward story of a Mother and Father who appear "normal" in day to day life but who are actually twisted to the extreme. They take great sport in tormenting their daughter who will, undoubtedly, end up absolutely screwed up in later life as a result. Imagine the parents psychologically doing to their little girl what so many other entrants physically did to their protagonists in this fest.

2. Moving a little deeper, the little girl represents our child-like fascination with scary things. She doesn't run, hide or call out for Mommy - she just lies there and listens to the stories. In fact, although she's disturbed by what she hears, she loves it (again, note that she sees the Dad when she's brought into the room and smiles - and that when Mommy asks her if she's all right, she looks up at her Mom and nods). Query also what is scarier than "reality"? Tales of ghosts, vampires and goblins (and chain saws and such) are silly - kids' fairy tales - the reality is much scarier both because it's more horrific and because it's real and you have no choice but to deal with it.

Sincere thanks to all who watched and commented.

Best,

George.