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View Full Version : Death by Flypaper Presents - Jack and Jill



kennethhurd
09-14-2007, 12:14 PM
http://www.manmadebrain.com/jackjillposter.jpg

Jack and Jill is a two character romantic horror film with a hacksaw. The script has been finalized and shooting starts on Sunday the 23rd.

I want to wish everyone good luck and I'm looking forward to seeing the films that are produced!

Kenneth

AmyO
09-14-2007, 07:58 PM
romantic horror film with a hacksaw
Oh my! This should be interesting! Good luck on your shoot. :)

DarkMatter
09-20-2007, 03:59 AM
So.... Jack and Jill went up the hill to hack each other to Pieces? Sounds like a very Grimm tale.

DimmuJed
10-25-2007, 08:34 AM
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of blood, then fell down, and their heads came rolling after.

agentjonny
10-25-2007, 09:01 PM
poster added!

agentjonny
10-25-2007, 09:58 PM
thought maybe i should post some of my notes on the film. what was a 5 minute script turned into a 9 minute film! that's what lots of dolly shots will do. so we got to cut the film basically in half, but i think it turned out better. and still got to keep a few dolly shots. and all the full frontal nudity.

traviscool
10-29-2007, 11:59 PM
Dolly shots are good stuff, you have one awesome poster.

Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-31-2007, 08:55 AM
SPOILERS!!!






I really liked this one... odd, but creepy.

The hacksaw bit was a bit unbelievable but the ending was awesome.
The mood of the movie was dead on... no pun intended.

I really liked the actors as well.

Nice job!!

Mike

Dustin R. Rogan
10-31-2007, 10:53 AM
****** SPOILERS*******


kinda hard to get into at first but then once I got what the heck was going on I felt bad for the girl...strange that who'd want someone else to hack off their legs...

I did like the effect with the gun shot. Made me go back and look at it frame by frame.

over all you won me over in the end


Dustin

(ps i'm associated with Retribution) (http://www.dvxfest.com/allhallowsfest/loader.php?id=11264)

mentatDUKE
11-01-2007, 08:39 PM
The acting in this was really good. The two characters came across as some really damaged people. I loved the gunshot effect i went back and slowmotioned it. Impressive.
I like the cinematography. A nice warm look with some softness. The zoom in at the end after he shot her really drove it home.

Good one.

agentjonny
11-01-2007, 11:04 PM
thanks! that gunshot was just 2 frames of photoshop. i thought it turned out pretty believable...

Luis Caffesse
11-02-2007, 02:56 PM
Woah.
Didn't know what to expect from this one...and I was very surprised (in a good way).
Didn't seem like it was going anywhere at first... but I really got into this, the performances were better than most entries I've seen this time around - and the characters were ... interesting.
:)

The idea - to me at least - was fascinating.




***************SPOILERS*****************










"Okay, now I'm going to cut your feet off"
His delivery was perfect.
I sat there for a second thinking....what did he just say???
When he came back around the corner, I was pretty creeped out.

Overall, nice job.
I can see where this one would have played out better if you had a couple of extra minutes - parts of it felt...jumped over. But - all in all - very well done. This is one I'll go back and watch again.
:thumbsup:

kennethhurd
11-02-2007, 04:12 PM
Cool, I'm glad you liked it. Our script was right at 5 pages, but when the cut was done, the film ran 8:37, so we had to do some heavy cutting to get it down. After the fest, I'll probably post the full version on youtube or something.

Luis Caffesse
11-02-2007, 04:31 PM
After the fest, I'll probably post the full version on youtube or something.
Please do -
I'm looking forward to seeing that.

Marlon Ladd
11-03-2007, 12:18 PM
I didn't really understand the whole chopping the leg off, but just the thought of it and seeing them actually about to go through it made it seem very real and frightening. The gunshot was a good effect too.

Blaine
11-03-2007, 12:33 PM
Other than giving you a chance to display a little gore, I have no idea why the whole cutting the feet off thing was in there if the point was she wanted to die and he was going to help her. I'll bet these two are the life of the party. This movie didn't do anything for me. It definitely had that "shot in the basement (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=56080)" look.

Maximus
11-04-2007, 12:08 PM
In my humble opinion, this is the best film of the fest. But for now, I'll just say you're in my top three. Will rewatch my top ten before final decision. Hey, I take this job seriously! :)

A few years ago, in Germany I believe, some guy went on the internet chat rooms looking for someone to eat. He was a cannibal and he wanted someone to voluntarily submit to being eaten alive. Remarkably, someone volunteered. Long story short, they hooked up, the cannibal ate him. The cannibal is now behind bars.

Did you base your film on this true story? It reminded me of it immediately.

You did a very good job of presenting two damaged people who need each other. Jill is pathetic, alone, suicidal, and self loathing. Jack is horrifying as a predator who preys on the lonely, weak and vulnerable. The actors were great! Very believable performances. When they first speak on the phone, and Jack says, "I'm anxious... I mean scared..." he is obviously not scared, but tingling with the anticipation of butchering a willing victim.

When they first meet, Jill is desperate to make an emotional connection (the first shot of the film shows her at the graveside of her loved one - one can presume she is now alone and wishes to die) and asks Jack for a kiss. His look of disgust is priceless, but he plays it cool. He doesn't want to blow it. He reluctantly agrees and his little peck makes her so happy.

Very well written. After she explains her motivation for dying, she tries to recruit him into a suicide pact. Of course, he has no intention of doing that. The spider has got his fly in the web.

After he drugs her, and says, "Ok, now I'm gonna cut your feet off." matter of factly and she nods, is both shocking and horrifying. He's a Psychopath with a willing victim. Why does he want to saw her feet off? He's a sadist. Why doesn't she care? She wants to die. Great suspense as he walks away, now wearing gloves, the ominous music, the red glow coming from the room, his slow walk back with hacksaw in hand.

When he asks her if she feels the blade, she says no, keep going. Was the drug he gave her an anaesthetic? Maybe that's why she doesn't react to the sawing. Or maybe she's so numb with shock. The fact that she didn't scream, seemed totally plausible. The tears streaming down her face was enough.
The sound that covered up the sawing was a good choice.

That Jack suddenly stops and says he can't continue was an interesting choice. Maybe she has affected him, and he does for the first time ever, feel some empathy with his victim. Of course, she is on a one way journey, and encourages him to finish the job with his gun. (Please comment on that vertical camera move 4:12 - 4:17?)

The gunshot fx was very good.

Obviously, I'm pretty impressed with your film. Good job! :beer: :thumbsup:

J.R. Hudson
11-05-2007, 09:30 AM
I have some mixed feelings about this piece but overall enjoyed it

Your actors were some of the best of the fest and really supported this film; the girl was especially convincing. When the opening with that nice Dolly Shot I was expecting much more than I got visually. I wish you had used that motivtation and eye for the rest of the piece.

The droning sound when he starts cutting the limb took me out of it; I think using an audio that lets us hear the sawing would have been a slam dunk on the creep factor.

Not too much to be stoked on visually; no real grading or motivated shots. I do appreciate your willingness to recognize the line rule and the til/pan when the young man steps out of the room; someone finally moved the camera in this fest !

A lot of close ups in this one; would have liked to have seen wider shots that let us in more.

You got the OTS shots right and I liked that, but mixing up the OTS / Reverses could have helped move this along visually.

Overall; nice short. Sad, depressing. Competent actors.

I hope you continue to participate; I think you have a talent; although it is rough and needs polishing.

Brandon Rice
11-05-2007, 07:48 PM
I am surprised this short hasn't gotten any more buzz... though some things were lacking technically (ie. sound) your short was well done... the acting was quite good, some of the best of the fest, I felt. I did think the ending was super depressing :( But that's what you were going for... also, next time, lock the camera down, the movement really distracted from the actors performances IMO. Thanks for the film, well done... a bright spot in this fest.

cinealma
11-07-2007, 05:59 PM
REVIEW:
As Billy Ocean would say, "simply awesome!" My kind of film and exactly why I make films. The effect this has on you creates such a contradiction of emotions that it feels like you just got hit by a truck and at the same time leaves you sitting their, deer in the headlights, "did I miss something?"

Some good sh*t! I look forward to more films from you here.

FILMMAKER-TO-FILMMAKER:
Oh, something nice to build on. I like the QUIETNESS of the film. Very, very good. God bless your actors. They really trusted you with this material and did a wonderful job.

So, given a little time and budget, the sawing and other blood effects would have been more polished and realistic (meaning fat and bloody).

Nice camera work. I like the close-up feel and I think you could have done the whole thing in nothing more than MCU - XCU's, with some real abstract and/or focused images. An XCU of the gun barrel against the flesh of her neck is an example I can think of.

Anyway, like I said, you definitely have a fan in me. Thanks for sharing.

Cheers! :beer::beer:

andoguru
11-07-2007, 10:45 PM
Hey kennethhurd,

I think your story was pretty good. It gave a chance for the characters to show some emotions.

I didn't like the sound design, though. It was distracting where you had the various tones etc. I think have it sound more just like normal surroundings would make it more dreadful because of the fact something so sad and violent is going to happen in such a normal place.

I like how you play this like it was going to be a love story or two people's first time.

The acting was good and your shot selection was decent though a lot of the shots seemed empty with all the empty walls.

My one gripe with the story is that the characters didn't have an arc meaning they stayed the same throughout. It would be good to have them evolve as the story went on like maybe having the girl start to be more interested in the boy as it went on and then maybe she could change her mind about wanting to kill herself. Maybe him being so kind to her made her think that maybe there is someone else out there for me. In contrary, the guy could start off nice like he was then maybe have a hint of liking the girl...maybe he is evolving to be a killer because of past troubles with girls etc...but then we she starts to get second thoughts and wants to stop then the rage comes out and he murders her violently. I think this would have help this piece end with more of a roar rather then a whimper.

Don't get me wrong, this is one of the best stories in the whole fest and story is where it's at! Good job.

Laters,
Ando

deedive
11-08-2007, 09:08 PM
Maybe im insane but after reading the thread i am more confused.
i took this story a totally different way.

first i thought about the nursy rhyme
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after."

then whatched the movie
First shot is a woman at a grave. I'm thinking she is jill. the grave stone is jack.
Jack fell down and broke his crown. (aka dead)
next shot is a man on a computer with jill. I thought the guy might be jack. kinda like the dead reaching out to to the living. After jack died, jill wanted to die too. So when i saw the kissing scene i was extremely amazed. It was great!
when jack says "why do u wanna be here. I thought he meant dead, with him. Her answer also makes sense.
because of the "now im going to cut your feet off" scene i became truely confused. thats when i came and had to read the thread.

Great work! i really really liked it.