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Billy Pilgrim
08-20-2007, 04:45 PM
The Art Of Suicide

Shot on DVX100, cut with Sony Vegas

Written & Directed by Matt Kieley

Starring Rickey Bird as Felix

Shot & Edited by Matt Kieley

Music by Cockeyed Caucasian Cockfight (http://www.myspace.com/cockeyedcaucasiancockfight)

Synopses: After losing his parents and sibling in a tragic plane crash, Felix returns to his childhood home to commit suicide, but is having trouble successfully killing himself, so he turns to his only friend, Harvey, for advice on how to kill himself properly.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v447/Billy_Pilgrim/The%20Art%20Of%20Suicide/artofsuicideposter1.jpg

Billy Pilgrim
08-20-2007, 04:46 PM
Some grabs:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v447/Billy_Pilgrim/The%20Art%20Of%20Suicide/aos3.jpg

I wanted a grainy black and white look for the film. I feel it suits the subject matter. I don't know why, it just seems right that it be darkly lit and grainy. Even though it's a dark comedy, I still feel it should have a moody look to it, much like the cold, overcast look of Harold and Maude, which is a big influence on this film.

Billy Pilgrim
08-20-2007, 04:47 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v447/Billy_Pilgrim/The%20Art%20Of%20Suicide/aos11.jpg
re-shoot

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v447/Billy_Pilgrim/The%20Art%20Of%20Suicide/aos12.jpg
Rickey Bird as Felix

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v447/Billy_Pilgrim/The%20Art%20Of%20Suicide/aos13.jpg
Anamorphic, from yesterday (most of the anamorphic shots turned out like crap, hence the additional re-shoots today.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v447/Billy_Pilgrim/The%20Art%20Of%20Suicide/aos14.jpg
Felix calls Harvey

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v447/Billy_Pilgrim/The%20Art%20Of%20Suicide/aos15.jpg
Asphyxiation

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v447/Billy_Pilgrim/The%20Art%20Of%20Suicide/aos16.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v447/Billy_Pilgrim/The%20Art%20Of%20Suicide/aos17.jpg

bosindy
08-20-2007, 04:59 PM
I like the synopsis. Good luck with it.

Michael Anthony Horrigan
08-20-2007, 05:01 PM
Sounds great! I hope you get access to the funeral home.

Cheers,

Mike

Tom Marshall
08-20-2007, 05:18 PM
Sounds like a great story, man... if you need any help, let me know!

Ted Arabian
08-20-2007, 10:21 PM
Smokin' story! I don't know how you'd pull that off in 5 minutes but jeez... best of luck!

-Ted

Mark Johnson
08-20-2007, 10:58 PM
This is based on a true story, right? I think I read about this in Vanity Fair last fall.

bosindy
08-20-2007, 11:07 PM
Smokin' story! I don't know how you'd pull that off in 5 minutes but jeez... best of luck!

-Ted
5 minute is the killer, I have not yet figured out how to write with a short time limit. Best I can tell is write the script you think is 5 minute and then cut it in half. I am really looking forward to this one though. Really cool idea.

Ted Arabian
08-20-2007, 11:09 PM
5 minute is the killer, I have not yet figured out how to write with a short time limit. Best I can tell is write the script you think is 5 minute and then cut it in half. I am really looking forward to this one though. Really cool idea.
Yeah, tell me about it. But I tried to learn a few tricks from "On the Lot" (groan).

Mr Johnson, here, did one in 3 minutes and it's great! Mark... have you shared this here?

Mark Johnson
08-20-2007, 11:14 PM
Ha ha. I wouldn't call it great, but it was fun to do. I added the link to my sig if anyone wants to see it. ....

Ted Arabian
08-20-2007, 11:17 PM
Mark, you provided a complete story in 3 minutes! I'd call that great any day! And the fact that your animated little hottie is wearing nothing but straps is a bonus!

Everyone check it out! It is a great piece of work by our old friend, Mr. Johnson!

Sorry Billy for running away with your thread!

-Ted

Billy Pilgrim
08-20-2007, 11:51 PM
I have some ideas on how to get it down in five minutes. I think it'll be a good challenge, because I actually have been thinking of this idea for a month now as a feature length story.

Attic6
08-21-2007, 02:16 AM
Nice idea, Tell me the red wine is going to bring color back to her face and flow through her veins...

Zoidoid
08-21-2007, 08:52 AM
Attic6 -- interesting synopsis! I very much like the mix of traditional drama elements and vintage horror elements. It'll also be a good exercise in cutting down a story to the most essential building blocks. I think I'm also going to have the problem of fitting a larger story into a five-minute segment. Looking forward to updates over the coming weeks. Good luck!

Billy Pilgrim
08-22-2007, 09:38 PM
I tried getting the funeral home. It's been about two days and I haven't heard anything.

Billy Pilgrim
09-08-2007, 03:00 PM
I have had no luck getting the location I need, so I don't know what's going on with this project. I don't really have any actors or actresses either. The actors I know have stopped returning my calls and answering my emails. If I had the money, I would just hire professional actors and build sets. But I don't, so that's out of the question at the moment. I'm thinking of other ideas for different scripts, but so far they're kind of weak, and I don't like them as much as I like this idea.

DarkMatter
09-26-2007, 05:55 AM
Love the synopsis on this one! Have you worked out a poster yet? Keep us updated!

Billy Pilgrim
09-27-2007, 04:39 PM
Still no luck on the location. I'm considering just shooting with a neutral background that people can just interpret, like those old BBC Shakespeare productions. I really don't want to, I want to have a good, real location, but if I'm left without any options, I'll just do it. I'm half-considering just using a garage, but I'm afraid it would just be hoakey. I also don't have any actors. The people I was talking to have stopped answering my emails. I really want to try and make this right. I don't want to half-ass anything. I'm afraid if I do, it'll be like a lot of bad horror movies: great concept, piss poor execution. I usually don't care about production design or locations much, but I feel it would be essential for this story, that the morgue, funeral home, and cemetery should be characters in the story.

Billy Pilgrim
09-27-2007, 06:04 PM
I'm also considering shooting it green screen, and either creating fake 3D backgrounds, which I don't really have the resources and skills to pull off myself (and I doubt anyone who can will do it for free), or shooting the backgrounds at real locations--that way, I can have real backgrounds, and I won't have to shoot inside for very long--I would be spending much less time shooting backgrounds, as opposed to shooting take after take of entire scenes with dialogue. The only other problem is the equipment. There wouldn't be any autopsy scene or anything, but the table and scales and things should at least look real, even if they aren't feature prominently. If all else fails I'm going to have to get REALLY creative and maybe write the story around everything. But that's a very last resort.

Billy Pilgrim
10-08-2007, 03:45 PM
I've come up with a completely different story idea all together, to something simpler. I'm still debating on saying it in this thread, or just letting it be a surprise for the fest, if I do get off my ass and shoot it. What I will definitely say is that suicide is still a primary theme, although I'm not going to be melodramatic or serious about it. I feel more confident creating dark comedy than I do creating melodrama.

Glideshot
10-08-2007, 04:04 PM
I hope you pull it off Billy...I'd love to see what you come up with!

Good Luck!

DimmuJed
10-08-2007, 06:32 PM
I liked the old idea, just the mysterious flier seems too....how you say.... well IDK , I just don't like the mysterious flier, though i'm sure you could explain it well.

But I'd watch, mortician's are highly underused in horror. Though most are just pretty normal people (aside from draining the dead of blood)

Joops
10-08-2007, 07:22 PM
Good luck with the new idea.

Billy Pilgrim
10-09-2007, 02:33 AM
I just realized today (well yesterday, but it's still October 8th as far as I'm concerned) is my two year anniversary posting here.

So here's the new story idea I came up with:
After losing his parents, grand parents, wife, kids, and pets in a tragic plane crash, a writer returns to his childhood home, which he's inherited, to commit suicide. The problem is, he's lacking in inspiration, and can't seem to successfully kill himself, or write a good suicide note, so he looks to his only friend to help him brainstorm. It's a comedy.

Billy Pilgrim
10-15-2007, 11:13 PM
I just finished the script. I'm going with the second idea I came up with, about the suicidal guy. It's called "The Art Of Suicide". The script is ten pages long. I think I'm just going to shoot it as is, cut it long, make the version I want. Then I'll make a second shorter cut for the fest. I'm going to try and shoot soon, maybe this weekend, it not during the week.

Billy Pilgrim
10-15-2007, 11:35 PM
I'd also like to request a mod change the name of the thread to "'The Art Of Suicide' by Matt Kieley" and delete this post afterward. Thank you.

DarkMatter
10-16-2007, 12:19 AM
I just finished the script. I'm going with the second idea I came up with, about the suicidal guy. It's called "The Art Of Suicide". The script is ten pages long. I think I'm just going to shoot it as is, cut it long, make the version I want. Then I'll make a second shorter cut for the fest. I'm going to try and shoot soon, maybe this weekend, it not during the week.

That's what I did, my fest cut is exactly 5 mins. We will watch the directors cut at our Hallows party.
Good luck on the suicide !:thumbsup:

Billy Pilgrim
10-16-2007, 01:08 AM
Thanks. I've edited my first post with the new synopses, plus a poster I just made. Go check it out, people!

Ki-Ki
10-16-2007, 05:48 AM
I strangly like the poster. Good concept with the hangman effect. I hope you pull it off in time i'm in the same situation. I quite like the new synopsis to. Good luck with the shoot, =]

Billy Pilgrim
10-16-2007, 06:54 AM
Thank you.

Billy Pilgrim
10-18-2007, 11:09 PM
I begin filming tomorrow morning. My friend Cameron Apple will be playing Felix. I'm considering shooting with my anamorphic scope lens, so I can get that nice 2.35:1 aspec ratio without cropping the image. Call e a resolution whore, but I love the look that anamorphic lenses yield.

Ben Sliker
10-19-2007, 07:47 AM
best ... poster ... ever.

mentatDUKE
10-19-2007, 08:32 PM
Good luck w. the filming. The plot sounds interesting. How many days you guys shooting?

Billy Pilgrim
10-20-2007, 04:04 AM
Okay, so, I shot the first half of the script today, and did a rough cut. So far it's 8 minutes long. Oh boy. I'm also somewhat unsatisfied with what I have so far, and have been re-thinking my approach. I'm going to write a second draft of the script tonight, around some of the footage that I intend to still use, and I'm going to finish on Sunday and Monday. From there, I'll decide if I need to do anything else different. My new ideas involve a whole new approach, that should hopefully help me keep it under five minutes. And hopefully it'll work better than what I already have.

Billy Pilgrim
10-20-2007, 09:50 AM
I'm almost done with the second "draft" of the script, and I've cut the footage I already shot down to 2 minutes. I'm anxious to shoot the rest.

Billy Pilgrim
10-21-2007, 01:37 AM
Grabs added to the first page, post number 2.

Today we're going to continue shooting.

cinealma
10-21-2007, 02:56 AM
Very cool. Love the black and white.

Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-21-2007, 06:53 AM
Nice grabs!

Mike

Billy Pilgrim
10-22-2007, 01:08 AM
So the shoot today fell through. Hopefully I can finish it tomorrow.

Billy Pilgrim
10-22-2007, 02:07 PM
So, the friend who was supposed to play the lead, and shot with me on Friday, has decided to not answer my calls now. I don't know why. I don't want to, but I'm going to have to re-shoot everything today with someone else, who is more reliable. We're going to get started at 2:30 today.

Joops
10-22-2007, 04:16 PM
Sucky. Good luck with the reshoot. This one will be even better.

Billy Pilgrim
10-23-2007, 02:12 PM
So I did some re-shoots yesterday, and am still unhappy with some of it, so today, we're doing some additional re-shoots. I don't think I've ever done so much re-shooting in any of my projects so far. But I don't need to shoot as much, because there's still a couple of scenes and a number of shots from both of the previous shoots that are usable.

Billy Pilgrim
10-23-2007, 03:49 PM
Re-shoot today went great. I'm happy with the footage. Now I think I can patch something together that works. Now I just need to do a little bit of sound work, and record some voice-over.

Billy Pilgrim
10-23-2007, 07:30 PM
So I have a cut running at 3:45. I'm almost tempted to extend it, and exploit the five minute limit, but I don't think I will. I'm still waiting on the music right now. A friend of mine, Benn Wheeler, and his band, Cockeyed Caucasian Cockfight, will be creating original music for the film.

cinealma
10-23-2007, 08:39 PM
Cockeyed Caucasian Cockfight



That's classic! :grin::grin::grin:

Billy Pilgrim
10-23-2007, 08:48 PM
Indeed. They're kind of a lo-fi acoustic indie punk band.

cinealma
10-23-2007, 08:53 PM
Indeed. They're kind of a lo-fi acoustic indie punk band.

Kind of like Violent Femmes?

Billy Pilgrim
10-23-2007, 09:13 PM
Yes, much like the Violent Femmes.

cinealma
10-23-2007, 09:46 PM
Yes, much like the Violent Femmes.

Very cool. Look forward to hearing the band in your film.

Billy Pilgrim
10-23-2007, 10:26 PM
New grabs added to page 1, post #3.

cinealma
10-24-2007, 09:04 AM
Still loving the black and white. Good stuff. I like that noir shot with the vertical blind type shadow. Very cool.

Brandon Rice
10-24-2007, 10:25 AM
mm... mm...

grabs look hot dude!

Billy Pilgrim
10-24-2007, 11:46 AM
Thanks, guys!

Billy Pilgrim
10-26-2007, 12:20 PM
I'd say I'm just about finished. I might go through and do some finishing touches this afternoon, but I'm going to try and upload before the sun goes down (that doesn't make me too much of a pussy, does it?).

Billy Pilgrim
10-26-2007, 12:23 PM
And here I am at the end of the fest, my thread title still being "Untitled Billy Pilgrim Project". My film has had a title for over a week now. Maybe I should re-name the film to fit the thread, just so everyone will know.

Billy Pilgrim
10-26-2007, 03:51 PM
I'm about to upload and realized I need a tag line. I'm not good at these types of things, so I used a line that's a reference to the first draft, which I think kind of fits: "Because cutting your wrist only works like 4% of the time" The Art Of Suicide

Billy Pilgrim
10-26-2007, 07:32 PM
Uploading! This is exciting. I've never entered a fest, and now I finally am.

Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-26-2007, 07:35 PM
Awesome! Can't wait to see what you have come up with.

Mike

Billy Pilgrim
10-26-2007, 07:53 PM
I was waiting until my film was completed and uploaded to do this. Now that it has:


I like the synopsis. Good luck with it.


Sounds great!


Sounds like a great story, man... if you need any help, let me know!


Smokin' story! I don't know how you'd pull that off in 5 minutes but jeez... best of luck!

-Ted


Love the synopsis on this one!


I hope you pull it off Billy...I'd love to see what you come up with!

Good Luck!


Good luck with the new idea.


I strangly like the poster. Good concept with the hangman effect. I hope you pull it off in time i'm in the same situation. I quite like the new synopsis to. Good luck with the shoot, =]


best ... poster ... ever.


Good luck w. the filming. The plot sounds interesting.


Very cool. Love the black and white.


Nice grabs!


Good luck with the reshoot. This one will be even better.


Still loving the black and white. Good stuff. I like that noir shot with the vertical blind type shadow. Very cool.


mm... mm...

grabs look hot dude!


Awesome! Can't wait to see what you have come up with.

THANK YOU FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT EVERYONE!

Billy Pilgrim
10-28-2007, 08:03 PM
I'm really glad I'm finally participating in a DVXuser fest. For all the past fests I've been on the outside, looking in. It's been months since I've shot...well, anything, and for a while I was kind of down on myself as a filmmaker, but I'm glad I finally got this project done. I feel a lot better as a result. And on top of that, I'm actually happy with the end result, which is rare for me. I now have more confidence in myself as a filmmaker, and am ready to tackle more projects.

Tom Marshall
10-28-2007, 08:44 PM
Hey man, I think it's great that you got this thing done. I know you've had your problems with flaky people and everything, but the fact that you were able to pull through all that BS and get a film made proves that you can do it. Congrats, man. :beer:

Billy Pilgrim
10-28-2007, 08:46 PM
Thanks, man!

Maximus
10-29-2007, 05:26 AM
I'm really glad I'm finally participating in a DVXuser fest. For all the past fests I've been on the outside, looking in. It's been months since I've shot...well, anything, and for a while I was kind of down on myself as a filmmaker, but I'm glad I finally got this project done. I feel a lot better as a result. And on top of that, I'm actually happy with the end result, which is rare for me. I now have more confidence in myself as a filmmaker, and am ready to tackle more projects.

Same here. I've been following (lurking) these dvxuser fests since Zombiefest (bought the dvd!). I found them so inspirational, I promised myself I would jump in one day. It took me quite a while to finally do it (fear of failure), but I'm so glad I finally did. The journey is probably more valuable than the destination.

I'm looking forward to the next one! :)

BTW I love your screen grabs.

Marlon Ladd
10-29-2007, 06:40 AM
It seems as if there are alot of us in the same boat. This is my first FEst. too. I haven't shot anything since I finished my last film, so I wanted to participate and get some practice in at the same time.

Good luck guys, looking forward to seeing your films.

Billy Pilgrim
10-29-2007, 03:05 PM
Thanks, guys!

Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-30-2007, 10:17 PM
Very cool! Great cinematography.

The voice-over kind of took me out of it a bit due to the "hiss" that seemed to accompany it.

Still, I can ignore that. Very good movie.

Mike

Billy Pilgrim
10-30-2007, 11:50 PM
Thanks, man!

cinealma
10-31-2007, 04:11 PM
REVIEW:
Nice looking film. The black and white looked great. The voice over confused me a bit at first so I had to watch it a second time. I love the concept of this one. Keep it up, man. Good job!

FILMMAKER-TO-FILMMAKER:
I absolutely LOVE the track when he's lying on the bed that is cued by the turn of the fan. That's seriously good stuff. I would have like to see some actual cuts to the failed attempts described in the VO, but I understand that may have been above and beyond the time/budget you had. I think also focussing the VO on just Felix and not his family may have made it less confusing. VISUALLY, this film was brilliant, though. Good stuff.

Cheers!

deedive
10-31-2007, 09:13 PM
sorry to be a slow poke i haven't seen any movies yet cuz of work. tomorrow is my day.:) goona see your joint

DarkMatter
10-31-2007, 09:19 PM
Great job for a first attempt. I would reccomend getting a better mic and working on the sound mix so that it doesn't overpower everything else!

mentatDUKE
10-31-2007, 09:58 PM
This was a pretty interesting film. Sad yet deadpan. Serious yet tongue in cheek. The black and white really sells the gritiness and the harsh reality of it all, while the monotone narration and acting plays up the comedy angle.

Very unique.

Billy Pilgrim
11-01-2007, 06:42 PM
Thanks for watching my little film and commenting, guys, I really do appreciate it.

Michael Anthony Horrigan
11-01-2007, 08:20 PM
Billy, I just wanted to mention one more thing... I love the shot that starts at 1:28.

VERY nice!

Cheers,

Mike

deedive
11-02-2007, 04:15 PM
interesting. cool movie. Great pacing. like the wide shots. I like the attention and timing of your setups. smooth. Also like the writing. Only things that bothered me where the voiceover actors voice. He read well but im not sure if the character of the voice could carry the film. You have to hire alex baldwin or keith david. :) I would have loved to here driving ambient at the end and the way u took out the music at the end was genius.

Billy Pilgrim
11-02-2007, 05:16 PM
Only things that bothered me where the voiceover actors voice.

What do you have against my voice, man? [winking face]

Glad you liked it. You and the other three or four guys.

deedive
11-02-2007, 05:25 PM
What do you have against my voice, man? [winking face]

Glad you liked it. You and the other three or four guys.

:cry:anyone who doesnt like this should commit suicide. I got a wes andreson vibe from it. very thought out.

Billy Pilgrim
11-02-2007, 06:08 PM
anyone who doesnt like this should commit suicide.

HA! I'm making that the tag line.

Justin Kuhn
11-03-2007, 01:42 AM
Loved this right up until the end, where it suffered from a bit an an anticlimax. I was hoping that he was gonna get totally plowed by a truck or something to nicely round out the ironic tone of the film. A horn, some screeching tires, a sudden, jolting whip-pan on the sound of the hit, cut to black. Granted this is what happens. Using the naration (which I loved through the rest of the film) just seems like it might have been the wrong choice there.

In addition to the deadpan narration, I was also a fan of the friend who gives him suicide tips over the phone. That's what friends are for right? Also the wide shot of him walking up to the front door was sweet. Good job!

PS: considering your avatar I realize where some of the inspiration for the look of your film might have come from. Nice influence if so.

Billy Pilgrim
11-03-2007, 01:54 AM
Thanks! I would have loved to show the crash at the end, but you know how the low budget game goes. I didn't want to have to bother with little sound tricks. it's just not the same to me. Plus I thought it would have a weirder kind of effect seeing him drive before he dies, and hearing a description of it. Harvey, the friend who gives advice on suicide, was originally a character in the first draft that we see and hear, but I couldn't find anyone who was right, and the script was over ten pages long, so during the re-write he became just a reference. But I'm glad it still worked for someone. I was afraid people would be confused or not get the joke of the friend who gives Felix advice on killing himself, instead of talking him out of it.

In the first draft, the last sequence was Felix going to Harvey's apartment to borrow his handgun, and as Harvey looked for it (discovering in the process that his ex-wife took it after their divorce) Felix went to the bathroom, and then changed his mind and decided to jump out of the window. He survives the fall, and laments to the audience that he should have jumped from a higher floor. He would be broken and bent in uncomfortable positions. Harvey would come outside to help him and say a line I loved, and didn't want to cut, but had to anyway since there was no place for it in the second draft:

HARVEY
Felix, are you alright?

FELIX
I can't even kill myself successfully. How pathetic is that?

HARVEY
Don't worry about it, Felix. There's no need to get bent out of shape about it!
(Laughs)

FELIX
Very funny.

Justin Kuhn
11-03-2007, 09:15 AM
Plus I thought it would have a weirder kind of effect seeing him drive before he dies, and hearing a description of it.

It was a little surreal, but at the same time it kind of dragged things out a bit. That's just me.



HARVEY
Don't worry about it, Felix. There's no need to get bent out of shape about it!
(Laughs)
FELIX
Very funny.

That's sick. Too bad it didn't make it in!

J.R. Hudson
11-03-2007, 10:40 AM
I didn't get into this one.

Too much talky talky. The Audio was bad. The camerawork blah. The black and white seemed forced.

I don't know; I tuned out instantly. Got bored as it it wore on.

I think much more could have been accomplished with this idea; but I wasn't laughing, I wasn't cringing. I just didn't feel it.

Billy Pilgrim
11-03-2007, 05:08 PM
So...does this mean you WON'T vote for it?

Herman Witkam
11-03-2007, 05:12 PM
It felt as if there was too much narrative/voiceover for such a short film.

The audio sounded very roomy, and was distracting me a bit from the actual locations that were on-screen.

The cinemascope images (or as Ozu calls it, "a roll of toilet paper" :)) worked well for me, especially with the final driving shot, when the music dies out so nicely. The film might have been more effective with less music.

Maximus
11-04-2007, 08:20 AM
Good job! Like the widescreen B&W look - like Kurosawa's High and Low. Also reminiscent of Suture. Writing was very good - the suicide attempts could have been more dramatic. Nice little twist at the end, although it was pretty obvious. BTW the NFB of Canada made an animated short film a few years back about a depressed guy wanting to commit suicide. His attempts all fail and when he finally decides to embrace life he dies in an accident. Of course this was a comedy.

gabrielflorit
11-04-2007, 06:43 PM
Some really cool shots in here. I love the b/w widescreen format, it's very expressive, for instance at the beginning 0:37, 1:33 and 2:48. The light music makes this short interesting, but what happened at the end? No music, ambient noise, nothing? It really kills the short. Still, I enjoyed it. Congratulations!

Billy Pilgrim
11-04-2007, 06:56 PM
Good job! Like the widescreen B&W look - like Kurosawa's High and Low. Also reminiscent of Suture. Writing was very good - the suicide attempts could have been more dramatic. Nice little twist at the end, although it was pretty obvious. BTW the NFB of Canada made an animated short film a few years back about a depressed guy wanting to commit suicide. His attempts all fail and when he finally decides to embrace life he dies in an accident. Of course this was a comedy.

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! I've never heard of that other short you're talking about. If it's on the internet, send me the link sometime.


Some really cool shots in here. I love the b/w widescreen format, it's very expressive, for instance at the beginning 0:37, 1:33 and 2:48. The light music makes this short interesting, but what happened at the end? No music, ambient noise, nothing? It really kills the short. Still, I enjoyed it. Congratulations!

Thanks, man!

Yeah, I thought about the sound at the end and decided to keep it silent. The whole sound design is meant to be fairly dead, with very little sound (like faintly hearing him cough in the asphyxiation attempt, or the dripping water in the first attempt) so by the end it completely dies. As soon as the narrator references his death, the song ends, and after the voice-over ends, all of the sound is gone, and we sit quietly and linger on the last few seconds of him driving before going to credits. I thought if the sound went away, people would pay more attention to the last image.

andoguru
11-07-2007, 07:39 PM
Hey BillyPilgrim,

I felt the voiceover wasn't written very well and might have worked better without it or at least less of it such as if you kept all the stuff about his family and took out the narration about what he was doing. A narration about his family while the images are about him trying to kill himself seems like it would be a very interesting motif.

I liked the story and thought it was interesting and the scenes would be very cool if you showed them without narrating about them. The idea of someone trying to slit their wrists and chickening out or not doing it right and then bandaging themselves up if darkly humorous to me and it would have been great to show that without the aide of a narrator. The same goes for the pills and the car scene. Both you could have shown without VO.

I don't really like the choice of showing the film in Black and White. It seems unmotivated.

Again, I like the story and that's one of the hardest parts about making a film. You had good lighting and some good shots. Especially like the dolly while he is laying down. I like the progression of the story and the ending is pretty spooky where it's talking about him possibly causing the accident.

Laters,
Ando

Jack Daniel Stanley
11-11-2007, 07:47 AM
I thought this was kind of like Wes Anderson meets does Harold and Maude or something - kind of a macbre hipster vibe.

I liked the black and white and the quirky tone of it.

Billy Pilgrim
11-11-2007, 08:00 AM
Harold and Maude was indeed a big influence on this film. Thanks for comments, Jack. They are much appreciated!